1. Gnawing On Your Appendages
There you are, just watching TV together. You reach over to stroke your adorable kitty, who’s snoozing on the next cushion. The next thing you know, your hand is caught in a vice grip of tiny cat teeth. What happened? Nibbling or ‘love biting’ is just your cat’s way of saying, ‘hey thanks for those awesome rubs! I like you too.’ Love bites are often the natural progression for a cat who likes to lick.
2. Licking Your Skin Off
Sometimes my cat will catch me watching as she grooms herself. She gets this look like, “Oh you want some of this?” and starts in on my arm (or leg or face) with that sandpaper tongue like she’s trying to remove my entire epidermis. This is not an attack (which is what my skin thinks) but a display of great affection. Cats only engage in mutual grooming with felines they adore. Grooming their favorite human spreads familiar scent and helps mark them as an important part of the family group.
3. Screaming At You
A meow or two is cute, but on an endless loop, these cat vocalizations can approach crying-baby levels of annoying. It may be hard to believe, but they’re not trying to drive you crazy. Contrary to popular belief, meowing, chirping, and trilling is not how cats communicate with each other. These vocalizations are used as a way to communicate with humans only! Do you talk to people you hate? Me either. So next time your cat meows at you, feel special (and then fetch that food, human)!
4. Stomping On Your Face (or Boobs, or Balls...)
You've never lived until you've been woken up by a cat slowly punching you with its tiny fists. As painful as they might be when aimed at the right body part, these feline stomps are actually a behavior called ‘kneading’ that baby cats use to nurse. Adult cats only continue the behavior when they’re feeling most relaxed, content and loved.
5. Staring At You Like A Child Of The Corn
Ever get the creepy feeling that you're being watched? You glance around the room and spot your cat, eyes wide open like its trying to remove your soul. Does he look away? Oh no. He just blinks once, very slowly, and goes back to staring. As unsettling as this thousand-yard stare might be, it’s actually a rare privilege. Felines only make eye contact with people they know and trust. When eye contact is coupled with slow blinking, it’s considered to be a kitty kiss! Blink back to return the love.
6. Slamming Their Head Into Your Head
My cat loves to get up in my face when I’m trying to work, repeatedly slamming her forehead into my nose, chin, whatever. Turns out she isn't doing a Zinedine Zidane impression. Head bonking (actually called ‘bunting’) is a cat's way of marking something that they love and trust, and should be considered a huge compliment.
7. Breaking and Entering
"I want some privacy" is not a term your cat understands, and that's not just because they don't speak Human. Blinded by love, many cats can't stand the thought of sleeping away from their owners. And like this cat, they’ll find a way to get in--no thumbs be damned.
Cats LOVE to back that ass up...right into your face while you're trying to eat dinner. In cat terms however, this is a show of trust and affection. Would you show your butthole to someone you didn't trust? I didn't think so.
9. Molesting Your Computer
It never fails: You’re in the middle of a very important email when suddenly Miss Kitty leaps on your desk and takes a Sunday afternoon stroll down the middle of the keyboard. Once there, she decides your computer is the perfect spot for a nap, and proceeds to get comfy. As frustrating as this is, it's actually not meant to be annoying. Cats love to be the center of attention, and computers just happen to be warm with lots of whirring and blinking lights. Sitting there is just a cat’s way of saying ‘Hey look at me! I’m important too! Oooh this feels nice...zzzzz'.
10. Interrupting Bathroom Time
The bathroom is the one place where you can be truly alone. Unless you’re a cat owner. Then you’re guaranteed to see frantic paws under the door, searching for you (if they don’t just let themselves in). This desperate behavior is actually a completely natural sign of love. “First, a closed door is a challenge and an affront to a curious cat which is one reason why you'll see furry paws reaching under the door or cats racing to join their people in the bathroom,” explains PawNation. “More importantly, the bathroom gives cats a captive audience as people glued to the facilities aren't able to move away.”
11. Shredding Your Beloved Furniture
Few things are more sinister than a cat looking you straight in the eye as it sinks his paws deep into the sofa. Scratching is a natural, healthy cat behavior, but humans fail realize it comes from a place of LOVE (silly us). “Just as with the spraying, cat scratching leaves both scented and visual marks of ownership,” explains About.com “Pay attention to where your cat scratches the most. The areas most important to kitty often are related to those places associated with the owner, like a favorite chair where you sit.”
12. Using Its Body As Leg Shackles
You come home, tired after a long day, and before you can take your shoes off, your cat starts going crazy on your leg. Rubbing and twirling, you feel like a prisoner (and slightly dirty) as Fluffy uses her entire body to make out make-out with your shins. In actuality, rubbing against another creature is a cat's main way of showing affection, and an important bonding ritual.
13. Bringing You Dead Things
Stepping on a dead mouse might not be the ideal way to start your weekend, but it’ll sure wake you up! No, your cat isn't trying to give you nightmares. It's actually a gift! Even domesticated cats are fierce predators by nature. Sharing the spoils of the hunt with you is a sign of adoration and should be praised (and then quickly tossed in the trash can).
14. Trying To Trip You
All you’re trying to do is get down the hallway, but there's your annoying little cat, twisting and flipping in the middle of the floor like a spastic gymnast. Although it may feel like a plot to send you face first into the carpet, this is actually a huge vote of confidence: cats only show their belly to people they love.
15. Passing Out On Your Lap (Or Face, Or Back...)
All you want to do is get up and pee, but you're pinned to the couch by a 10-pound cat who's dead asleep. If your cat always wants to curl up on or next to you, take it as a compliment. "Your cat is most vulnerable when he's sleeping, so where he chooses to snooze must feel safe and secure to him," explains Mercola.com "If one of his favorite nap spots happens to be your lap, consider yourself well-loved by your kitty."