I'm not going to pretend I know what this beaver was thinking when he broke into a store but I'm going to anyway, because it's fun.
Charlie the beaver bust into a dollar store in Charlotte Hall, Maryland, because he heard a terrible rumor: they were selling fake trees.
Being a beaver, he saw that as a personal affront. It's like inviting your Italian friend over for a "traditional meal like Nonna used to make" for him to later on discover that you used canned sauce in the plate of spaghetti and meatballs in front of him. It's downright unforgivable.
Upon breaking into the store, old Charlie was first horrified, then angered to discover that the rumors were actually 100% true.
Nothing could sate his wood-lust as he absolutely decimated all of the displays that stood in his path.
Authorities were quick to point out Charlie didn't go berserk until after he noticed the trees were fake. Coincidence? I think not.
Cpl. Yingling had a unique call for service when the suspect, pictured, was witnessed causing prop. Destruction at a store in Char. Hall. pic.twitter.com/6qKlu7tqA7— St. Mary's Sheriff (@firstsheriff) November 30, 2016
He was ultimately caught and put in the care of a wildlife rehabilitator.
The beaver tweet may go viral! All joking aside, the beaver was safely rescued by animal control & was released to a wildlife rehabilitator. pic.twitter.com/0VyLXJPjxh— St. Mary's Sheriff (@firstsheriff) November 30, 2016
But fake trees should be on guard: there's a beaver out there who's had it up to here with your deception. You never know which fake piece of wood's going to be next on the receiving end of Charlie's wrath.