Valentine’s day is coming up and that means you will be doing one of two things. Either you and your loved one will share a romantic evening, or you will be alone on twitter. Two equally valid options.
With the first choice you will get to longingly stare as your loved one and wonder how you could ever be apart. On the you you get to sadly stare a glowing rectangle and wonder how you could ever be apart.
Maybe you will get a kiss. Or maybe you won’t.
Perhaps someone will give you chocolate as a gift. Or perhaps you will eat chocolate by yourself because you are a big fatty and no one will ever love you.
Like I said, two equally valid choices.
Been there, buddy.
When you don't have a Valentine pic.twitter.com/1BLA4XuPpd— Ghetto CNN (@Ghetto_CNN) February 10, 2016
How scandalous. They are related!
Hope my two valentines don't find out about each other pic.twitter.com/UAbzY4yZRB— Brian Miller (@millertime4545) February 14, 2015
And everyday after that
"What are your plans for Valentine's Day?" pic.twitter.com/ThHXI0uJI9— Hilarious (@ComedyPics) February 10, 2016
It is popular among lonely people
Person: What are your plans for Valentine's Day?— Star Wars Logics (@StarWarsLogics) February 10, 2016
I feel worse now
If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember that you're also alone every other day so t doesn't really matter— UK Banter (@UKBanter) February 10, 2016
Guys think girls are hard to please like no show up w some cheap flowers and a rotisserie chicken and she will love u forever— nic (@niccisaint) February 10, 2016
People love it
Can't wait for Valentines Day. I'm gonna run into as many restaurants as I can shouting "Knew I'd find you here! You bastard" then run out.— Ruthe Phoenix (@RuthePhoenix) January 24, 2015
Well, she sounds lovely.
I have a valentine, but she goes to another school. also she's modeling overseas right now.— lawblob (@lawblob) February 14, 2015
You must feel like such an idiot
Joke's on you, people trying to make me feel bad about Valentine's Day -- I feel bad every day— Hippo (@InternetHippo) February 2, 2015
Don't say that!
me on valentine's day pic.twitter.com/DDpT4a5RqM— Common White Girl (@girlposts) February 11, 2014
You could buy a valentine with that kind of money
i dont need a valentine i need 8 million dollars and a fast metabolism— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) January 27, 2016
Both things can be true!
Valentine's Day is bullshit.— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) February 13, 2014
(If I don't get something I will probably cry)
Let's all take a moment of silence this Valentine's Day to think about the couples who started dating end of January— shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) February 14, 2015
Impress your lady this Valentine's Day by giving her a delicious gourmet box of listening— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) January 20, 2015
I told my wife her Valentine's Day gift this year is the privilege of being married to me. She's so happy she still hasn't stopped crying.— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) February 14, 2013
You have one date? Well, I have twenty ducks!
You are never alone on Valentine's Day if you're near a lake and have bread.— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) February 14, 2015
Long may she reign
This Valentines give her what she really wants: a throne forged from the bones of her enemies & a relentless reign of terror over the masses— Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) February 13, 2015
You don't understand me or dishes!
Blow her mind this Valentine's Day by PUTTING YOUR OWN DAMN DISHES IN THE DISHWASHER BRANDON THEY DON'T NEED TO "SOAK"— ♡ brian essbe ♡ (@SortaBad) February 13, 2015
Happy Valentines Day aka spend $200 to avoid a fight— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) February 14, 2015
She'll faint with joy
cool romantic valentine's day surprise gift idea: replace their meds with conversation hearts!— megan burns (@parleamamain) February 2, 2016
"Actually, violets are violet," I say, ripping up her poem.— Anna (@anjvs) February 14, 2015
Which one are you?
Two types of people on Valentine's Day pic.twitter.com/mZHjdLjTUZ— Alcoholic Tweets (@alcohol_tweets) February 1, 2016
Pain gets worse with drinking
It sounds like it is going great
A boy held a door open for me this morning, so yeah, I guess I have plans for Valentine's Day.— Lyndsay (@LyndsayFuhrhop) February 2, 2016
If you're single on Valentine's Day you're allowed to have two dinners right?— Mitchell Davis (@mmitchelldaviss) February 6, 2016
It's what I do every year
Valentine's Day plan:— pandamusk (@pandamusk) February 12, 2016
1. Breakfast in bed
3. Watch movie
4. Dinner for two.
5. Regret eating two dinners.
6. Cry alone.
Watch me flaunt my wealth
Sending flowers to your significant other at work is a great way to tell all their coworkers that you used to have $60.— MJ (@sucittaM) February 14, 2012
Not too shabby
Aww, my Valentine* brought me a gift**— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) February 14, 2015
**pizza that I paid for
But you cat hasn't!
Hope everyone who uses the word "bae" has a terrible Valentine's Dae ?— Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123) February 14, 2015
Valentine's Day is just a made-up holiday invented by Twitter to give people something to write lame jokes about.— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) February 14, 2014