1 . The Garter Toss
The tradition of tossing the garter originates back to the 14th century, where it was believed that grabbing a piece of the bride's dress would bring good luck. Some rowdy guests would inevitably start ripping the brides's dress, and so to prevent that from happening, brides began the tradition of throwing pieces of their dress to their guests - the garter being an item tossed to the males.
2 . "Giving Away" The Bride
Giving away the bride is an antiquated tradition from the days when women were their father's property until they got married and became their husband's property. The bride was literally given away in exchange for a price (dowry). Unless women still want to view themselves on the same level as a really solid piece of furniture, the giving away of the bride needs to stop. Your father can just walk you down the aisle, it's not really that hard.
3 . The Bouquet Toss
Along with the garter toss, the bouquet toss stems from the tradition that parts of the brides' dress brings good luck. However, when a simple tossing of flowers can result in a full-scale brawl between slightly-drunk bridesmaids, it's time to put this tradition to rest.
4 . Not Seeing Each Other Before the Wedding
This tradition dates back to the era of arranged marriages, where it was believed if the couple saw each other before the ceremony, it would give them a reason to run away. Seems like a solid foundation for marriage, doesn't it?
5 . Smashing Cake Into Each Other's Faces
Back in the day the tradition was to break a piece of bread over the brides head (probably to symbolize home and hearth and the importance of a good vaccuum), but as cakes took prominence as the favored wedding treat it was realized that cakes don't crumble well. Cue the smashing of cakes. What. A. Waste. Of. Cake. And if you are going to spend money looking gorgeous for your wedding day, the last thing you should do is mush sugar and icing onto your face. Just saying.
6 . Throwing Rice
Pelting newlyweds with uncooked starchy vegetables is a time-honored tradition meant to shower the new couple with prosperity, fertility and, of course, good fortune. But who wants to walk by their friends and family with rice flying towards the eyes? 9 out of 10 optometrists will advise against throwing rice.
7 . Wearing a Veil
People in ancient Rome believed that evil spirits would be attracted to the bride, so they covered her face with a veil in order to conceal her features and confuse them. But nowadays, only a couple of guests per wedding believe that evil spirits will attack the bride if she isn't wearing a veil, and I like those odds.
8 . Gender-Specific Wedding Parties
It makes sense for the groom to have groomsmen and for the bride to have her bridesmaids, but as several romantic comedies have pointed out, it's not hard to mix and match. Why force your fiance to make your best guy friend a groomsman when he really would have more fun at the bachelorette party? Let freedom ring!
9 . Bride's Side and Groom's Side
In Christian ceremonies, the bride's family sits on the left, the groom's on the right. Likewise, the bride stands at the left at the altar while the groom stands to her right. Why must we separate the families? If everyone is going to get into a fight on Thanksgiving over who gets the last piece of pie, better start that mingling now.
10 . The Bride's Family Paying for the Wedding
Tradition says that the brides family pay for the wedding ceremony, and with our current economy, I don't see that tradition as being the most fair. An equal division of the price of a wedding seems reasonable, no?
11 . The Dollar Dance
The Dollar Dance (or Money Dance) is a practice most common in the South and Midwest, when male guests pay to dance briefly with the bride, and sometimes female guests pay to dance with the groom. But seriously, if guests are shelling out upwards of a thousand dollars to attend a wedding, there is no way you should make them throw the rest of their bank account at you just for a dance.
12 . Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue
This tradition comes from an Old English rhyme ("Something Olde, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue, A Sixpence in your Shoe"). The Something Old represents the connection the bride will keep with her family, Something New represents good fortune in her new married life, Something Borrowed connotes that the bride will still have her old friends even when she is married, and Something Blue stands for faithfulness and loyalty. These four good lucky charms can make for some cute Instagram photos, but they are really more of a hassle than anything else.
13 . Diamond Rings
Diamonds are now known to be wildly overpriced and a waste of money, as diamonds are not actually even rare gems, major diamond retailers just have a very firm grasp on their supply - thus upping their prices artificially. But we can all agree that Kate Middleton changed the game when William presented her with Diana's old blue sapphire engagement ring.
14 . Bringing a Plus One
It may feel awkward for some to attend a wedding alone, but it's also really expensive to have to pay for your cousin's new boyfriend of the month. It's a lose-lose, so everyone should probably just drink.
15 . Announcing the Wedding Party
Usually announcing the wedding party is a thankless task, done by the overpaid DJ or that one friend who isn't totally drunk yet. But it's just a recipe for a Youtube-worthy embarrassment, so best just stick to announcing the bride and groom.
16 . Wearing a White Dress
White wedding gowns are a relatively recent phenomenon, before which almost any color dress was acceptable (In Celtic culture red was the preferred color, while early Christians favored blue). Let's hope on the Cristina Yang train and celebrate wedding dresses that aren't just white. Because cake stains you guys.
17 . Having a Receiving Line
Receiving lines are good in theory--a way to individually thank everyone who shelled out major bucks to come to your wedding. But really, it's preventing people from getting to their food, and that's a crime.
18 . Giving out Wedding Favors
Those committed couples who have a ton of time and like to spend in on Pinterest are lovely and wedding favors are sometimes pretty fun, but for the most part, it's a drain on a bank account for a gift most people will leave at the wedding. Maybe its better to set aside that money for an open bar? Just thinking out loud here.