Controlling, Clueless Dude Wants Fiancée to Buy a $50 Wedding Dress Online
Updated Jan. 15 2020, 1:39 p.m. ET
You ever read a Reddit post from someone who's about to get married, and you just know that relationship isn't going to last? Well, you're about to. In fact, this engagement seems to be falling apart in the comment section of Reddit's "Am I the A-hole?" and we're glad because this woman deserves better.
The post was written by a 38-year-old guy who wanted to know if he was wrong for telling his 27-year-old fiancée that the wedding dress she wants is way too extravagant. Reading this headline, I thought this was going to be a story about a reasonable dude who had to let his bridezilla of a fiancée know that they couldn't afford a $15,000 dress or something. but I was very wrong. It's the opposite.
He explains that they are getting married in July and that everything is pretty much booked. His fiancée, Emma, has been collecting pictures of wedding dresses she likes. All that's left to do for this wedding is to decide on bridesmaid dresses and buy her wedding dress.
Both of them put aside $10,000 for the wedding. They've paid everything and they have $6,000 leftover. Great! Good for them! He thinks it should go toward the honeymoon on top of the honeymoon fund they already have. That's shaping up to be one one good honeymoon. Anyway, Emma found a dress she wanted, but he was appalled — I mean, lost his mind — that the dress costs $950 and the veil cost's $120.
We're clearly talking here about two people who can afford it, have set aside the money, and have much more than $1,070 leftover to spend on their wedding. If the circumstances were different and they didn't have the money to spend, I'd say OK, maybe she should go for a white dress that's not a wedding dress. But wedding dresses start at around $1,000. They have the money. And she put in $10,000 of her own, which means part of the money leftover is hers.
But it gets worse. Not only does he not want her to spend $950 on a wedding dress. He thinks she should be able to go online and buy a very similar dress for $50 to $100. He clearly has no idea how the world works. There are entire Facebook groups dedicated to people who bought cheap knock-off wedding dresses online and got something way different and way worse than what was in the picture, like the photos above and others throughout this article.
Does he want her wedding dress to be green? Because if she buys a $50 one online, there's a chance it will be green. He was annoyed that she didn't want to entertain his idea of buying online from an app like Wish, which is known for selling knockoffs of any and all products, which often don't work or were noticeably made cheaply with low-quality materials.
He was also beside himself that she wants to get the dress altered to her body, a thing nearly every person who buys a wedding dress does to some capacity. Anyway, they got in a huge argument about it (obviously). She said she would be using her own money for the dress, and he said that wasn't true because they're getting married and their "finances will be joined." But they're not yet, bucko! And if he's already trying to control his fiancée's money, imagine what else he tries to control.
Eventually, the bride's mom offered to pay for the dress, but he's put his foot down and said it's not about being able to afford it. He doesn't want Emma spending that kind of money on a dress at all. Even her own money or her mother's, especially when, according to him, "there are identical ones online at a fraction of the cost." But we all know that's not true.
I know what you're thinking/ ("Honey, run!!") Luckily for us, there's more to this story. Emma apparently came to her senses and said that she has to "really consider" if they're a "good match for marriage" after the argument. "I'm blown away that she would say that over a dress," he wrote. But it seems Emma understands this is about way more than a dress. This is about her autonomy. This is about a man trying to control her finances and her decisions.
Everyone in the comments rushed to Emma's defense and were quick to call this guy out for his truly shocking stance. When someone asked him how he was OK with spending over $10,000 on a wedding but wanted his wife to wear a $50 dress, he wrote, "Because things like food! Everyone will be eating it, but only she will be wearing the dress. Venue, everyone attending. Dress? Only her. My head is pounding trying to explain."
Sure seems like he doesn't care about his wife being comfortable or happy during their wedding!! Emma went to her parents' house and shut off her phone. Meanwhile, Romeo over here got drunk and belligerent in the comments, got banned, and tried to plead with Emma over Reddit, writing, "If you see this Emma, call me, please. I won't shout. I won't get mad. I just want to end this crap. Get whatever dress you want. I see that I was wrong. I'm sorry." Classic abusive dude behavior if you ask me!
It seems like Emma realized just in time what a bad situation she was in because she called off the wedding!!! Literally, I've never been happier for a stranger on the internet. We have to stan.
No matter how many people told her fiancé he was wrong, controlling, and out of line, he wouldn't hear it. Good thing Emma realized she deserves way better than this. Good riddance, and I hope when Emma finds someone who supports her, she'll wear the most extravagant, perfect wedding dress she can find.