These Moments Will Remind You That Cats Just Want To Watch The World Burn
By Zachary Brenner
Updated Nov. 18 2019, 2:22 p.m. ET
I've never owned a cat. Here's why: The best thing a cat owner ever says about their pet is that they are "just like a dog." That's an admission that dogs are the superior pet. So why not just get a dog and have a guarantee that your pet is "just like a dog?"
On the other side of the spectrum, you have bad cats who are just plain mean. Not only aggressive, but cruel and calculating. It feels like they are just constantly plotting your demise. I don't have any proof of that, but I think the burden of proof falls on you to convince me otherwise.
Wanna hear the worst thing a dog ever did? He barked one too many times.
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Nope!
Look what I stole!
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It's not what it looks like.
Toasty!
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You're just making a mess
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. Or am I?
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Please stop.
A force of chaos.
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You weren't going to eat this, were you?
Um, rude.
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Stay away
Take that, dog!
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Oh, you shouldn't have...
Got something on your back.
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You going to clean that up?
Get in here!
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Why would you do this?
This is fine.
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I don't share!
Did I win?
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I'm cool.
Who doesn't like Santa?
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Ahem.
You hurt a child!
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Why would I use that bed you paid for?
You got what you deserved!
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What were you expecting?
Have you learned your lesson yet?
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I'm the top cat around here!
You are very rude!
I'm not letting you touch them.
