"Not Her Business What the PTO is for" — Manager Denies Employee's PTO Because They Didn’t Like Their Tone
"So she’s tone policing you on PtO ??"
![Mustafa Gatollari - Author](https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/Svmb6c7FP/200x200/mustafa-headshot-5-1715200618128.jpg)
Published April 18 2024, 1:14 p.m. ET
![Boss Denies PTO Request Because of Employee's Tone](https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/hLKSupO0y/480x251/boss-denies-pro-request-cover-1713456115609.jpg 480w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/hLKSupO0y/640x335/boss-denies-pro-request-cover-1713456115609.jpg 640w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/hLKSupO0y/768x402/boss-denies-pro-request-cover-1713456115609.jpg 768w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/hLKSupO0y/1024x536/boss-denies-pro-request-cover-1713456115609.jpg 1024w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/hLKSupO0y/1280x670/boss-denies-pro-request-cover-1713456115609.jpg 1280w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/hLKSupO0y/1440x753/boss-denies-pro-request-cover-1713456115609.jpg 1440w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/hLKSupO0y/1600x837/boss-denies-pro-request-cover-1713456115609.jpg 1600w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/hLKSupO0y/2160x1130/boss-denies-pro-request-cover-1713456115609.jpg 2160w)
A "gaslighting" rant a manager directed towards an employee after the worker's paid-time-off request was denied is going viral on TikTok. The video, which was uploaded to the site's @unoreverse706 account was uploaded with a caption detailing the person's gripe with their employer.
It reads: "All I said was I earned my PTO as part of my compensation and am entitled to taking it. That was enough for them to go nuts and resort to gaslighting as usual."
The clip shows a screenshot image of an employee on a call with the manager in question — the supervisor could be heard speaking in the video.
"POV: your managers deny your PTO then gaslight you for asserting your rights," the TikToker writes in a text overlay of their video: "The way you approached the on-site discussion and the way you're approaching this PTO, discussion, just petty, it's just, again, the feedback is, it's inappropriate," the supervisor says to the employee in the recorded clip.
Their conversation continues, "It's inappropriate the way you're approaching it and discussing it because sometimes like it's gonna be a no. And you've gotta be like, and it might, and I know it's gonna be frustrating but that's just the way it is. It's gonna be a no this time," the supervisor on the call says to the worker who was attempting to take their paid time off.
"It would be a different situation like [the TikToker indicates that the supervisor is rolling their eyes] I wish you would have approached the response of the PTO request in a different way, like, I imagine, you know if you could have said something more along the lines of..." the worker's manager continues to say.
They then launch into an example of how they wished the worker responded to their denial of her paid time off request: "I totally understand and care a lot about this job. This PTO request is for a family emergency or something along those lines that I think would have been the appropriate response."
![boss denies pto request](https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/LvpZ4rpZB/480x189/boss-denies-pto-request-1-1713455945656.jpg 480w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/LvpZ4rpZB/640x252/boss-denies-pto-request-1-1713455945656.jpg 640w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/LvpZ4rpZB/768x302/boss-denies-pto-request-1-1713455945656.jpg 768w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/LvpZ4rpZB/1024x403/boss-denies-pto-request-1-1713455945656.jpg 1024w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/LvpZ4rpZB/1280x503/boss-denies-pto-request-1-1713455945656.jpg 1280w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/LvpZ4rpZB/1440x566/boss-denies-pto-request-1-1713455945656.jpg 1440w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/LvpZ4rpZB/1600x629/boss-denies-pto-request-1-1713455945656.jpg 1600w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/LvpZ4rpZB/2160x849/boss-denies-pto-request-1-1713455945656.jpg 2160w)
The supervisor goes on to repeat that because they didn't like the way the employee reacted to not having their PTO request honored, is probably the reason why they were getting it doubly rejected: "The way you responded it's just, it's really hard to come back from that."
"You know there's a lot of assumptions made in that email and it was very inappropriate to two managers. So I'm not really sure why I should fight for you when it doesn't seem like you're fighting to, you know, develop strong relationships with us."
The manager went on, "Moving forward there needs to be more respect there, it's just it's really, really inappropriate and whether or not it's here or any, or at any other company, I mean I would never talk to Jordan and Mariam that way, even if I felt that. And it's just, again very disappointing cause I think I've shown you nothing but flexibility and understanding and kindness."
![boss denies pto request](https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/kgbBNbJbG/480x190/boss-denies-pto-request-2-1713455959032.jpg 480w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/kgbBNbJbG/640x253/boss-denies-pto-request-2-1713455959032.jpg 640w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/kgbBNbJbG/768x304/boss-denies-pto-request-2-1713455959032.jpg 768w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/kgbBNbJbG/1024x405/boss-denies-pto-request-2-1713455959032.jpg 1024w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/kgbBNbJbG/1280x506/boss-denies-pto-request-2-1713455959032.jpg 1280w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/kgbBNbJbG/1440x570/boss-denies-pto-request-2-1713455959032.jpg 1440w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/kgbBNbJbG/1600x633/boss-denies-pto-request-2-1713455959032.jpg 1600w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/kgbBNbJbG/2160x854/boss-denies-pto-request-2-1713455959032.jpg 2160w)
She continued to lecture the employee about their behavior, "But I want you to be, I wanna be very clear here that just because I'm kind and understanding does not mean I'm weak. And when someone act inappropriately I need to be very, very clear that it should never happen again."
Commenters who responded to the video didn't seem to think that putting paid time off is a request, but rather a courtesy to management in letting them know that they aren't going to be working during that period.
Like this one TikToker who wrote: "Here’s the deal. I don’t enter 'requests' for time off. I enter notifications"
Another person said that they work in human resources, and responded by stating, "HR here- It’s none of her business what ur PTO is for. I don’t see a problem with what you said at all. Some managers are on such a power trip I swear"
![boss denies pto request](https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/BoV6UAszp/480x174/boss-denies-pto-request-3-1713455967088.jpg 480w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/BoV6UAszp/640x232/boss-denies-pto-request-3-1713455967088.jpg 640w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/BoV6UAszp/768x278/boss-denies-pto-request-3-1713455967088.jpg 768w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/BoV6UAszp/1024x370/boss-denies-pto-request-3-1713455967088.jpg 1024w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/BoV6UAszp/1280x463/boss-denies-pto-request-3-1713455967088.jpg 1280w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/BoV6UAszp/1440x520/boss-denies-pto-request-3-1713455967088.jpg 1440w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/BoV6UAszp/1600x578/boss-denies-pto-request-3-1713455967088.jpg 1600w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/BoV6UAszp/2160x780/boss-denies-pto-request-3-1713455967088.jpg 2160w)
There were several other people who remarked that they thought the worker was trapped in a potentially toxic work environment and that they shouldn't have to worry about what they were using their paid-time-off for, or whether or not a supervisor is going to approve it or not.
"You should not have to explain PTO," someone penned.
Another replied, "I wanna quit her job for her"
"wow she is soooo condescending"
"What an awful manager. Please tell me she’s been fired," someone else wrote.
For another user on the application, they think that the disconnect between managers and workers at corporate jobs have to do with a fundamental misunderstanding when it comes to priorities: "These managers and hr think your entire life revolves around a random job"
![boss denies pto request](https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/rujPMfMJn/480x174/boss-denies-pto-request-4-1713455975350.jpg 480w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/rujPMfMJn/640x232/boss-denies-pto-request-4-1713455975350.jpg 640w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/rujPMfMJn/768x278/boss-denies-pto-request-4-1713455975350.jpg 768w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/rujPMfMJn/1024x371/boss-denies-pto-request-4-1713455975350.jpg 1024w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/rujPMfMJn/1280x464/boss-denies-pto-request-4-1713455975350.jpg 1280w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/rujPMfMJn/1440x522/boss-denies-pto-request-4-1713455975350.jpg 1440w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/rujPMfMJn/1600x580/boss-denies-pto-request-4-1713455975350.jpg 1600w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/rujPMfMJn/2160x782/boss-denies-pto-request-4-1713455975350.jpg 2160w)
And then some just expressed their shock at how the manager was speaking to the employee: "I am honestly TIRED of these toxic corporate jobs. I am so over it."
For others, it was all about trying to halt other people's tones: "So she’s tone policing you on PtO ??"
"they love to police our tone when we stand up for ourselves"
Have you ever gotten in trouble at a job just because you felt like your managers didn't like the way you spoke / responded to them not affording you specific privileges that came with your job?