Bridesmaid Says "Bridezilla" Told Her Not to Get Pregnant After Miscarriage so She "Wouldn't Be Too Fat" for the Wedding, Sparks Debate

Getting married is stressful, and I get that if you're throwing a party that's supposed to mark what is supposed to be the most important day of your life, you're going to want things to go off without a hitch.

You want it to be magical, you want it to be epic, you want people to have a good time and you want it to feel like a fairy tale. Which means you need to be firm about your vision for the day.

But there's a difference between being tough and decisive and being a total bridezilla. Unfortunately, these bridesmaids' friends crossed the line with their demands.

It's one thing to expect your bridesmaids to wear the same color dress. That's pretty standard. But demanding a specific hair color? Unfortunately, that's what user kmmurky was asked. "All bridesmaids except for me were brunette. She asked me to dye my hair brown for the wedding because she 'wanted to be the only blonde.'"

Rather than change her hair color, this proud blonde opted out of the bridal party, and it sounds like she made the right choice. "Thankful to this day since I heard the dresses and bachelorette party cost all the other girls more money than I make in a month." Way to dodge a bullet!

Losing a pregnancy is a traumatic experience, and you'd think even a stressed out bride might be a bit more sensitive to a bridesmaid who had suffered such a loss. MommaBearJam's friend was far more concerned with herself.

The would-be bridesmaid had just survived a catastrophic ectopic pregnancy where she lost the baby and almost bled to death. Shortly after this trauma, her friend asked her to be in the bridal party — with one ridiculous caveat: "She told me that I would be required to wait to try to have another baby until after her wedding in 1.5 years," MommaBear said.

But wait until you hear the reason — not that there are many reasonable explanations for that request. "Not because there would be a small child at the wedding, not even because she didn’t want me fat at her wedding... But because if I lost another child, it would take away from her engagement and wedding." Needless to say, she not only bailed on the wedding, but the friendship.

J-squire lost her father shortly before a friend's big day, and it sounds like that was just too inconvenient for the bride. "My dad had the audacity to die six weeks before the wedding, and she couldn't understand why that superseded her wedding details for me," she said. Thankfully, the experience wasn't a total loss. "I met my husband at her wedding, haven't spoken to her since."

Redditor remberzz related a story she heard from her mom, who was a wedding photographer for many years that tops that last one. "Long story short, the father of the bride had a heart attack and as he was being carried out on the stretcher the sobbing bride yells, 'How could you ruin my wedding like this?!!!?'"

The first red flag in hotel_girl985's story? The bride wanted 16 bridesmaids. "In the year and a half between the engagement and wedding, all but 6 dropped out (3 were her sisters)," she recalled. "She wanted 16 separate shades of blue and 16 different styles of dresses for each bridesmaid, then threw a fit when the store didn't have that many options."

Oh but wait, there's more. "She demanded everyone pay for a week-long bachelorette party in Vegas (including her share) and then got mad when some people opted out." The bridezilla also expected her parents to shell out $100K for the wedding, and the worst part is, they did, going into debt to cover the cost. "They took out a loan they are still paying off," she continued. 

Other demands included expecting bridesmaids to have identical hair color. Her full list of demands would set her attendants back more than $2,000 apiece. But the final straw wasn't over money but her wedding toast. The bride "demanded to see my toast a month prior so she could edit it. She ended up rewriting it totally."

It's pretty bad when even your own sister doesn't want to be in your wedding. SashWhitGrabby recalls her sister's antics when she had the audacity to ask who was going to foot the bill for her elaborate bachelorette weekend.

"When I asked 'Hey, who will pay for this?' my sister got p----- that I even asked. When I also reminded all the bridesmaids that our father who had stage-4 cancer wasn’t doing so well and that maybe the bachelorette/bridal shower should be close by, they all flipped thinking I was being insensitive to the bride."

As a result of her "insensitivity," Sash was kicked out of the wedding party, which was fine with her. Sadly, their father passed away two weeks after and wasn't even able to attend the wedding because he was in hospice. "To me, she put herself before our ailing father, and it still makes me mad," she said.

User caryatidonvacation says the bride she attended "spent a lot of time crying and carrying on whenever she didn’t get her way because 'it was her wedding and we should all do exactly what she wanted.'” And when she didn't feel one member of her party was living up to the responsibility, she kicked her out and ended their friendship. The offense? She "couldn’t make bridesmaid-dress shopping because she was sick and had to go to the hospital."

The nerve of some people.

I guess it's easy to be "frugal" if you expect your bridal party to hand-make all your decorations on top of the other expenses of being a bridesmaid. SpectralShifter says her best friend seemed like exactly the sort of bride who wouldn't go off the rails. Wrong.

"She didn’t have that many friends so it was only me and one other girl as bridesmaids. She asked us to hand-make ALL her decorations for the wedding (I put in 15 hours a week hand-making decorations, all outside of working and going to school full-time)."

On top of the free labor, the bride expected her girls to pay for a week-long bachelorette getaway, plus their dresses. "I wanted to find something affordable, but she picked designer matching dresses that we had to pay for."

In the end, she spent nearly $1K, plus she did the bride's hair and makeup for zero dollars. Understandably, this bridesmaid "just felt largely taken advantage of and unappreciated." Unsurprisingly, the friendship didn't survive much longer.

Marriage should be founded on honesty. But in addition to being honest with your spouse-to-be you should probably be honest with your wedding guests. Redditor yelloworchid says the bridezilla in their story lied about how many people the venue could accommodate, and understaffed it. As a result, the place was super crowded and the bridesmaids' dates were put to work "hanging flowers, running to get kegs and waters, pouring the champagne for guests, setting up the entire venue the day before."

She also lied to her hair and makeup artists about how many people needed services, forcing some to do their own, and lied to the caterers about the guest list, meaning they ran out of food and booze — two must-haves for a good reception.

Clearly, this bride was trying to shave money off her budget, but as yelloworchid observes, "All in all, I think her lies saved her $1500, but cost her close friendships, as her attitude toward the whole situation was indignation instead of being apologetic."

Imagine being so superficial you'd cut out a dear friend over her dress size! That's what volcanicpale's "best friend" did. "I was best friends with the woman, literally we did everything together. She assembled her wedding party and didn’t invite me." The reason why this bestie was cut out of the picture? "I found out later I wasn’t invited because I was overweight and her mother thought that would limit bridesmaid dress choices and throw the wedding photos ‘off.’ At least I know dodged a bullet."

Bridesmaid gigatroness still has fond feelings toward the bride she attended, but she admits her friend is "a terrible bride and drunk."

"It was a 3-hour ceremony with two venue changes," she said, and the bride was very demanding. "'I want what I want!' and 'it's my day!'" The bride had two wedding dress changes! During the second change, gigatroness says the bride was "standing there half-dressed and drunk yelling about how the cake wasn't perfect."

This b----- bridesmaid whipped the bride into shape despite the fact there was an onsite wedding planner. In gratitude, the planner allegedly offered the bridesmaid cocaine for her effort, "loudly, in front the an aunt who later told the bride."

It's hard to decide what's worse: a friend turning into a bridezilla or a friend falling prey to a multi-level marketing scam. User killrtofujalapenobiz got both in the same bride!  She demanded very costly beauty treatments of her bridal party, prompting her to tell the bride she "could not afford to have everything done professionally with such short notice."

The bridesmaid eventually bowed out and they didn't speak again for years, "until one day she sent me a message, asking for me to buy from her multilevel marketing campaign." 

AntiRaz doesn't have a personal account of a bridezilla but has seen plenty of the fallout. "I was in three weddings in the span of one year and one interesting thing I noticed was that there is always one bridesmaid that the bride stops being friends with after the wedding." In fact, this Nostradamus of nuptials says "you can start to see which bridesmaid it's gonna be about halfway through the engagement."

How awkward would it be for your boss to ask you to be her bridesmaid? Just ask gabygygax, who didn't feel she was in a position to decline despite not knowing her very long. It didn't go well. 

"First, I ended up hosting both her bachelorette AND her shower because no one in her life planned anything, and she showed up to her own shower an hour late, hungover and wearing pajamas when she mandated that everyone dress for a luncheon."

Then, rather than use a traditional bridal salon, the bride ordered dresses on Etsy. "They looked like seafoam green raw silk pillowcases with holes cut for the arms and head. They tied in giant bows in the back and we all looked like literal infants,
gaby says.  

Maybe that's why she had to enlist her employees for the job? 

Redditor gateauxes's bridezilla was her mom, whom she walked down the aisle.

"I've had purple or blue hair for quite some time," she explains, "and I checked almost a year in advance with my mom that it would be okay for my hair to be blue for the wedding. Checked again every few months, every time I was told to stop insinuating that she was a bridezilla, of course my hair was fine."

You know where this is going. "Two weeks before the wedding, my own mother threatened to disinvite me from the wedding if I didn't fix my hair."  So she did, spending over $300. Instead of being grateful, she "came home and my mother told me I was shallow for changing my hair to keep up appearances. Sigh."

Hexagogo found themselves in a wedding "where the bride planned two separate bachelorette weekends for herself and got mad at anyone who couldn’t/wouldn’t spend two 3-day weekends at ~$500/each."

Then, the week of the wedding arrived. It was February in the Northeast so, naturally, "the temp for the big day was forecast to be a high of 10 [degrees]," yet the bride insisted on photos outdoors "without coats 'because we can’t hide the dresses!'"

Even the photographer objected — can you blame them? Not only did the bride throw a fit, "she stopped talking to 75 percent of the bridal party because of their refusal to accommodate her outrageous demands. To this day, years later, she still complains about how her bridesmaids ruined her wedding."

BARDLover "wasn't a bridesmaid, but a witness to one" whose entire bridal party walked out on her, except the maid of honor. "Of course it was because no one loved her, and everyone wanted to ruin her day, not because she ripped a bridesmaid's dress from the neck down, in an open area, because it was too white." Before you side with the bride here, you should know "the bride insisted on all the maids wearing" that particular dress.

Briseadh said it was a lot of little things with her bridezilla, but two big examples stood out.

First, she went "turbo crazy" when one of her maids wanted to leave the bachelorette party an hour early, then enacted petty revenge for the perceived offense. The bride bragged that she had placed the offending bridesmaid "at a table with a very attractive girl because she knew she was insecure about her looks and wanted her to feel self-conscious as punishment."

That bridesmaid wasn't the only target for this bride on the warpath. Briseadh says she "pitched a fit at me in front of the whole bridal party because I had the nerve to bring a bag with my purse / car keys in it after she had mandated we were all to leave our stuff at her house...with no way of picking it up as she and the groom were staying in a hotel that night." Like many of the bridesmaids on this list, she ended the friendship shortly after.

A friend of awayfrommymind's was kicked out a wedding party "because she couldn't spend the $1,500 to go to the bachelorette party" in addition to the other costs. "The bride told her to take out a credit card to pay for it." As one of their mutual friends put it, this bridezilla did her a huge favor in the end by kicking her out of the wedding.

Posting on his wife's behalf, benfranklyblog relates her take of woe as the photographer at her stepsister's wedding:

"Normally my wife would charge between $4000 and $6000 for this, and we were flying across the country to attend this wedding mostly out of family obligation. So bride was getting an amazing deal." 

Rather than be grateful, the bride was a complete nightmare. "We knew it was going to be a [mess] but we’d committed so we bought our plane tickets and planned to come."

However, a week before the bride went "totally psycho" and posted "nasty awful things about half of her wedding party, including my wife." As a consequence, they bailed on the wedding and his wife withdrew her services. Apparently everyone was sick of the bride at this point — including her own mother, who also skipped out. "All [told] they had 8 people at their wedding, and only got cellphone pictures." As for Ben and his wife? "We had a nice little vacation and visited a lot of friends in the area."

CasuConsuIto's tale may top them all. The bride insisted a friend could not sit down during the ceremony or use a wheelchair down the aisle — even though she was severely weakened by chemo treatment.

And it gets worse. After the wedding, the bride's new mother-in-law was also diagnosed with breast cancer, albeit a far more optimistic prognosis. You'd think that would make her even more sympathetic to her ailing friend's needs but the bride cut off all contact. "Wouldn’t call back, respond to texts, nothing."

Sadly, the bridesmaid lost her battle. At the funeral, the bride who "wouldn’t even reply to a text" showed up to the viewing. "I flipped her off and told her to stop acting," CasuConsulto says. "I actively hate her."

Can't say I blame her.