Why Did This Little Boy Think His Friend Has Two Moms? — The Secret Is Not Wearing Makeup
Published Nov. 21 2023, 10:09 p.m. ET
Once while hanging out with my friend's son, we got to talking about age. He was three years old and I was, and still am, in my 40s. Obviously, it's insane to engage in a conversation with a child about anything other than the weird stuff they are into, but I had some wine and was feeling brave. That courage didn't last, especially after he insisted I was in my 70s. Now I'm not ageist but let's be honest, 40-something is a long way from 70-something.
It's true what the television show says, kids really do say the darnedest things. They also accidentally say the cruelest, smartest, and silliest things. Children are often more honest than a full bottle of wine. In vino veritas? I think not. It's in children veritas. This concept was written large for one woman on TikTok who had to explain to her son's classmate that he doesn't, in fact, have two moms. Read on for this unintentional yet savage blow to her ego.
Two moms is one too many in this equation.
Because I work remotely from home, I spend most of my time in comfortable clothing. I wake up in my pajamas and change into gym clothes. After working out I shower, and put comfortable clothes back on. Sometimes that comfy ensemble is that night's pj set, but most of the time it's leggings which as we all know is elevated sleepwear.
I haven't worn makeup in years. It's not that I don't like it, it's just that the idea of putting it on and taking it off again within a span of 12 hours, feels very sisyphean. I can feel my skin practically screaming, "What now?" The most I can do is a bold lip. All this to say, I definitely notice a huge contrast in how I am perceived when I am all dolled up.
Kristina Reed, who goes by @boymamatimes4 on TikTok, really felt the washed version of herself and the unwashed version when she dropped her son off at school. It all happened when her son's classmate asked what should have been an innocent question.
At the time, Kristina was wearing a yellow hooded sweatshirt. Her hair was pulled up into a top bun. We can neither confirm nor deny if she brushed her teeth prior to exiting the house, but we aren't here to judge. If you're running a quick errand and know you'll be drinking coffee while doing it, heck yeah you can brush your teeth when you get home.
While Kristina was still at her son's preschool, one of his classmates walked over and asked where her son's other mom was. Now if I was a less trusting person, I would immediately go to a dark place. For example, am I being cheated on? Who is this other mom? Don't worry, it went in a different yet still unpleasant direction.
"He only has one mom," says Kristina to this oddly curious little child. He still insisted there was another secret mom waiting in the wings somewhere, as if they were in Oz and Kristina was demanding the kid pay no attention to the other mother behind the curtain. Kids are both too trusting, and not trusting enough!
The unusually inquisitive child, who pays attention to parents in a wildly adult way, then dropped the hammer. "He has you and then he has the pretty mom, the one that picks him up from school everyday." At first glance this is bad but remember, she is still pretty 50 percent of the time. I like those odds.
People in the comments were howling. "In his own words he said you clean up nice," said one kind commenter. Another simply said: "emotional damage." Again I say, let's focus on how this attractive glass is half full!
In order to make Kristina feel better, a few folks chimed in with stories of their own. One woman said that while walking with her son, a 12-year-old girl wanted to know who the unhoused woman was. He pretended not to know her. That's a classic move. Another woman was mistaken for a classmate due to her limited height. We love a short queen. At the end of the day we can all take comfort in the fact that yes, kids say crazy things, but their brains have yet to fully develop. Give them 20 years.