Remember When Donald Sterling Gave a Chaotic Answer to a Question About His Handwriting?
If Donald Sterling's answer to a question about handwriting was his bonkers, imagine what he'd say if asked about dinner?
Published July 2 2024, 2:14 p.m. ET
Disgraced Clippers owner Donald Sterling is no stranger to personal and legal issues. He's had both discrimination and sexual harassment lawsuits brought against him and was forced out as owner of the Los Angeles NBA team after recordings of racist remarks he made were leaked to the media. Sterling is also a character, but we're not using that as a charming compliment.
According to the Los Angeles Times, in 2002 Sterling sued a woman by the name of Alexandra Castro in an effort to take control of a four-bedroom million-dollar home in Beverly Hills he gifted to her. The married Sterling had been carrying on an affair with Castro since the two met in 1999. When she ended things in 2002, he wasn't happy. During his deposition, Sterling was asked about his handwriting in a note he had allegedly given Castro. The NBA owner's answer has gone down in history.
No one could have predicted this answer to the handwriting question in Donald Sterling's deposition.
If a picture is worth a thousand words, then this screenshot of Sterling's deposition is worth one million vomit emojis. You can access it via Reddit, where all of the worst things live, and it tells the story of a man who either can't focus or is far too sexually charged for his good. In the deposition, Sterling is asked if something is his handwriting, presumably to prove that he did in fact write a note to Castro.
Not only is his response the most, "Sir, this is a Wendy's" answer we've ever seen, but it is also nonsensical to boot! "Well, I fool around sometimes," he says. Sterling then brings up being seduced by hot stories and takes an upsetting left turn into a woman saying how much she wants to perform fellatio on him while removing his shoes and licking his feet. Hello, FBI? Please send help.
Things get more specific as Sterling references a moment in a limousine where a woman is taking off all of her clothes, then offering to perform sexual acts on him while they are en route to a Mr. Koon's house. It's unclear who Mr. Koon is but for his sake, we hope everyone washed their hands and mouths immediately upon arrival. After relaying that he thanked this woman, possibly Castro, for making him feel good, the lawyer says, "Sir, the question was, 'Is this your handwriting?'"
Alexandro Castro and Donald Sterling had an agreement.
After they met in the late 1990s, Sterling had Castro sign a "friendship agreement," as he claimed to be happily married and had no interest in pursuing a relationship outside of his marriage that was more than physical. In court papers obtained by the Los Angeles Times, Castro said that Sterling's wife Shelly was very aware of his trysts. In fact, one of their first dates involved a dinner with Shelly. Apparently, they stayed married for financial reasons.
When the lawsuit was filed and Castro's lawyers spoke with Sterling, he initially denied their relationship happened. Luckily for Castro, she was able to furnish mountains of proof that included but were not limited to "photographs, voice mails, plane tickets, and hotel bills." Sterling came around after that and admitted the two had a lengthy affair.
Shelly then sued Castro herself because Sterling's lawyers realized that "under family law, Shelly 'has a much better chance of winning than'" Sterling. Unfortunately, we'll never know as both lawsuits were settled under confidential terms in 2004.
