"He Says My Hair Is Everywhere": Woman's Boyfriend Wants Her to Only Wear Ponytail at His Place
"You aren't a pet, so tell him to stop treating you like one," wrote one commenter.
Updated Aug. 12 2024, 5:36 p.m. ET
If you have long hair, you know how it goes: you'll often find strands all over your house, and you have to unclog your tub drain on the regular. But that's the price of long locks, and for most folks, it's really not that big of a deal.
...Except for when it is a big deal.
In one Mumsnet user's case, it was actually a big deal for her boyfriend, specifically.
In fact, he even requested that she change how she styles her hair, in the hopes that he would encounter fewer of her loose strands all over his apartment.
Here's the woman's story.
The poll results show that the woman isn't unreasonable for being annoyed with her boyfriend's request.
This woman's boyfriend wants her to always wear her hair in a ponytail when she comes over to his place.
In a post on the "Am I Being Unreasonable" forum over on Mumsnet, a user called Hairry (hah!) wanted to know if she was unreasonable for being annoyed with her boyfriend's hair request.
Hairry says she has thick, jet-black hair thanks to her Indian grandmother, and that folks have often complimented her on her beautiful locks. She says she's currently wearing it long (right above her waist) because she has some events coming up and wants to feel glam.
She's also in a "fairly new relationship." They're both in their late 20s, and they're starting to stay over at each other's places more and more often, too. And one day, her boyfriend — who loves to play with her hair, by the way — approached her about a surprising topic.
Her boyfriend said that when it comes to her hair, he's "finding it everywhere." He then asked her if she could wear her hair up in a ponytail while she's over at his place. This left Hairry feeling a bit annoyed, as this is the kind of stuff that comes with the territory of having long dark hair. In fact, she even says she has gone out of her way to make sure she doesn't leave stands behind.
"I make sure to clear out drain, tie my hair up when cooking. But beyond wearing a hair net there’s no way to prevent strands of hair being around. It’s just annoyed me that he will play with my hair happily and 'enjoy' it in one context but dislikes the realities of it," she wrote.
"Is this a red flag? 'Cause I’m genuinely annoyed. My dad and brothers dealt with it when I was growing up with my sisters who have similar hair," she added.
A lot of people are Team Girlfriend on this one.
"Yep, red flag and weirdly controlling," wrote one commenter under Hairry's post. "Throw this one back into the sea."
"Hahahhaa has he never had a girlfriend? Any woman with medium length hair will shed hair everywhere, not just someone with your hair," said another. "Every boyfriend I've ever had has joked about it, never annoyed, it's a fact of life. I wouldn't put my hair up for him."
But there are plenty of people who sympathize with the boyfriend, though.
"I think this is OK if he asked nicely and accepts it when you say no," someone else wrote. "But not if he insists."
"Oh God I feel his pain," wrote another person. "Whenever my friend's daughter visits, her hair is everywhere. I even managed to find a strand stuck to the air fryer after she popped a sausage roll in it! I see no harm in him asking you to keep it tied back, if you're shedding that much."
Some folks pointed out that wearing a ponytail is not going to stop anyone from shedding.
"Having it tied back doesn't actually make any difference to the amount of shedding in my experience," someone noted. "If anything, I shed more when it's up 'cause a tight ponytail makes hairs more prone to snapping."
"If it were me, I'd say, 'Look, I get that it's a pain, but long hair sheds — it just does. Up or down, it's going to shed. If you don't like it, we can hang just at my place, otherwise sorry but it's a part of me and not something I can change.'"
There was even someone who thought this might be a sign of cheating.
"Hmm. My first thought was that he doesn't want another lady friend finding your hair," wrote one commenter, "but I'm probably really reaching there as your hair will still fall out whether tied up or not. If it's genuine I'm not sure what the issue is, can't he hoover?"
And there were some suggestions of a compromise.
"Could you perhaps plait it when his place is freshly cleaned and tidied as a compromise (this will stop shedding onto surfaces better than a ponytail)? And then leave it down at other times? There's a compromise," someone wrote.
"I think it's probably OK to ask for it to be tied up in the kitchen or prepping food to minimize hair in food contamination, but a bit weird for everywhere," someone else commented.
What do you think? Who's in the right here?
