Inside Jill Duggar’s Relationship With Her Dad, Jim Bob Duggar

Allison Hunt - Author
By

Updated Dec. 27 2023, 9:04 a.m. ET

Israel Dillard, Jim Bob Duggar, Michelle Duggar, Cathy Dillard Byrum, Jill Duggar, and Derick Dillard
Source: The Dillard Family Facebook

Jill Duggar with her parents, husband, son, and mother in law

The Gist:

  • Jill Duggar Dillard released a tell-all memoir, Counting the Cost.
  • Jill's relationship with her dad has been strained over the years.
  • Jill is honest about her relationship with her dad, although her parents would prefer to keep the details private.
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The Duggars have been in the media quite a bit, with the once hugely popular show, formerly 19 Kids and Counting renamed to Counting On, and once being hit with scandal as Josh Duggar was accused of molesting underage girls as a teen. He was later charged with possession of child pornography.

Another scandal of sorts to rock the family involves second eldest daughter Jill Duggar Dillard. In 2023, she came out with her own tell-all memoir, Counting The Cost. We already knew that Jill and her husband Derick Dillard had been distancing themselves from the family, but what does the memoir say in regard to Jill's relationship with them now, especially her dad, Jim Bob Duggar?

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What is Jill Duggar’s relationship like with her dad?

Jill Duggar and her husband visit "Extra" at their New York studios at H&M in Times Square on Oct. 23, 2014
Source: Getty Images

Jill Duggar's book, Counting the Cost, which came out in September 2023, is a tell-all about her experience growing up as a Duggar. And in one part of the memoir, she details a fight with her dad that doesn't paint him in the best light.

There had been some speculation that there was bad blood for a while between Jill and her dad because on March 21, 2021, Jill and Derick talked about not visiting Jill's childhood home in multiple years in a YouTube video due to "prioritizing mental and emotional health."

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E! News also secured court documents back in May 2022 where Jill spoke about her father to a psychologist saying, "I saw a whole new side to my dad once my husband and I started making decisions that were best for our family, but not in his best interest. Sadly, I realized he had become pretty controlling, fearful, and reactionary."

Now in the book, Jill details a specific mediated argument with her dad:

"Pops took a step toward me, closing the gap. It wasn’t a gesture of reconciliation," she wrote. "It was an act of aggression. He towered over me, his whole body fueled with anger. My face flushed red. My eyes filled with tears."

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Jill responded with tears in her eyes saying:

"You think I’m some kind of horrible person just because I wear pants and have a nose ring, and yet you see that girl outside and praise her. That’s why I’m crying, Daddy. I’m evolving and changing, just like that girl out there, but you can’t see it. You treat me like I’m a prodigal who’s turned her back on you. You treat me worse than you treat my pedophile brother."

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar gave People a statement in regards to the memoir:

"We love all of our children very much. As with any family, few things are more painful than conflicts or problems among those you love. We do not believe the best way to resolve conflicts, facilitate forgiveness and reconciliation, or communicate through difficulties is through the media or in a public forum so we will not comment."

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Was Jill Duggar banned from the Duggar family home?

In her memoir, Jill mentions that she and her husband were, at some point, under orders to stay away from the "big house," or the Duggar family compound. However, it's not as strict as you might think. While she did write that she isn't permitted at the house without Jim Bob there, it looks like she is welcome at family events.

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In December 2023, Jill's brother, James Duggar, shared an Instagram post featuring a photo dump of holiday pictures at the family home. And Jill and Derrick are in one of them, in the kitchen of the home. They're even tagged in the photo, which shows that Jill and James follow each other on Instagram. And that, perhaps, Jill is still working on relationships with her siblings and even her parents.

Jill and her dad's relationship is obviously strained. She was very honest about their relationship in her memoir. Her parents appear to want to work on things privately, but Jill needed her truth to be told. Jill has made it clear that she set boundaries in her relationship with her dad for her own well-being. She did include her dad in a Facebook post on June 19, 2023, in honor of Father's Day. But it all appears to be a work in progress.

Report online or in-person sexual abuse of a child or teen by calling the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453 or visiting childhelp.org. Learn more about the warning signs of child abuse at RAINN.org.

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