Kash Patel Has an Enemies List and He Wrote a Children’s Book — What Can’t He Do?

After President Donald Trump was elected a second time in November 2024, he went on a nominating spree. It included a Fox News weekend host for secretary of defense, a puppy-killer to lead the Department of Homeland Security, and a former professional wrestling performer to take charge of the U.S. Department of Education. Two of these individuals have since been confirmed.

One of the more controversial picks by President Trump is Kash Patel, who has been tapped as director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI). This is a baffling choice due to the fact that Kash accused the FBI of carrying out deep state plots. He has even suggested they just "go be cops," per CNN. When he's not lambasting the FBI, Kash is writing books. One of them includes an alarmingly large enemies list, but another is just for kids. Here's what we know about his children's book.

Kash's children's book series begins with The Plot Against the King, which opens up on Choosing Day. In case you haven't guessed, that's a thinly veiled version of Election Day, and the entire book is about said election being stolen. Donald Trump is a merchant who is running against a woman named Hillary Queenton, except this book takes place in a monarchy where elections simply do not happen.

When Donald Trump wins fair and square, his victory is protested by local heralds who are holding up signs labeled NYT, CNN, and The Post. These heralds claim that Trump was working with some very bad people called the Russionians, and they were made aware of these allegations thanks to an anonymous tip from Hillary Queenton. We'll skip to the end in order to let you know that Trump is saved by a wizard named Kash.

The book was published by Beacon of Freedom Publishing House, an imprint of BRAVE Books, which is a "Christian publishing company that makes books for kids that reinforce biblically-based, foundational values." They've previously published books by Kevin Sorbo, Kirk Cameron, and Missy Robertson. Kirk even hosts a children's show on YouTube, but the book-selling business must be slow because BRAVE Books is soliciting donations to keep it going.

Of the nearly 3,000 Amazon reviews of Kash's children's book, 90 percent are five stars. "I love how Kash took a very criminal and dismal time in our history and made it into an easy-to-understand story for kids," wrote one reviewer. Perhaps Kash unlocked an entirely new genre, true crime for kids. Don't steal this idea, but his next book could be a kids' version of the JFK assassination. That's basically the Rosetta Stone of modern-day conspiracy theories.

As far as the bad reviews go, only 3 percent of those who reviewed the book gave it one star. One person wrote the "book was silly but not in a fun way. I'm sure no child would request having it read to them. Only buy this if you're trying to encourage your children to run away from home or to sue for emancipation." Maybe everyone should just stick to the classics. Can we interest you in the Little Golden Books?