Kim Kardashian's Christmas Decorations Are Definitely... Something

When you have untold amounts of money, you can do literally anything when it comes to Christmas decorations. And what Kim Kardashian chose to do this year, well, it's definitely something. Kim shared her Christmas (or should I say Kristmas?!) decorations on her Instagram story recently, and fans were so quick with the screenshots because they're truly a sight to behold. 

I'm not going to lie. Kim Kardashian's Christmas decorations are super weird. She has young kids!! You'd think she'd want her house to look festive and bright for the holidays. But no. Not at all. Let's take a closer look. 

It looks like a coral reef that's lost all its color and been drained of life because it's been destroyed by the environment. It's sad. It's weird. And she probably paid an interior designer a bunch of money for it. 

Seriously, it looks like a Dr. Seuss town that's been depressed by the blizzard of the century. One person said it reminds them of tampons, and they're not wrong. 

I can't get over those oblong shapes. They're not trees. What are they? The whole thing looks like a bunch of those cotton swabs from the doctor's office escaped their jar and are stretching and playing for the first time in their lives. 

It makes me sad for them, imagining them trapped there until the one time of year they're released. After the holiday, they'll probably be stuffed back in that jar, only taken out again when they're being used to stop the bleeding after the doctor administers a shot, then they'll be unceremoniously discarded. What a sad life. What a terrible image to conjure with your Christmas decorations.

They look like the foam trees and bushes you buy to decorate, except no one has decorated them. Someone wrote on Twitter, "It looks like she bought a bunch of furniture at Crate and Barrel and just peeled off all the upholstery..." That sentence sent a shiver down my spine, much like the Christmas decorations themselves.

Of course, Kim Kardashian is not the first celebrity to go hard in one frightening direction for her holiday decorations. Perhaps the most viral of these incidents was Melania Trump's hall of terrors way back in 2017. Remember this? 

Have you ever seen anything more dramatic? I'll answer for you: No, you have not. Not even if you've spent all weekend watching Marriage Story and The Irishman. The shadows are truly haunting. It looks like that Christmas tree is going to sentence me to death when I get to the end of that hall. 

And remember Ivanka's terrifying Thanksgiving spread? It looked like a lovely, bountiful cornucopia...after it had been cursed by a witch. What's happening here? Are all these celebrities using Christmas decorations as cries for help? Ariana Grande literally turned Christmas upside down last year. Is this a search for answers around the holiday season? 

The empty space is alarming. Again, the shadows seem to suggest something sinister. Is Christmas the saddest time of year for famous people? That seems to be the trend. 

Well, it seems to be the trend for most celebs, that is. Most celebs...except for Bethenny Frankel. 

Bethenny Frankel went the opposite of dark and brooding for her holiday decor last year, and honestly, I kind of wish she didn't. I don't know what's worse now. Look, I'm all for creativity and infusing your personal style into your holiday celebration, but it seems that I draw the line in two wildly different places, and those places are: a) at feeling legitimately scared, like I'm about to be snatched by the ghost of Christmas sadness; and b) at feeling like I'm an extra in a Britney Spears Christmas music video from 1999. Go figure. 

Merry Christmas celebs! Try to be a tiny bit normal!