"Under No Circumstances" — Mom Says She Won’t Throw Daughter Birthday Parties

A mom explained why she won't be throwing her daughter's annual birthday parties in a viral TikTok clip that's accrued over 722,000 views on the popular social media platform.

Marissa (@marissalight) begins her video by stating that "under no circumstances" will she ever be throwing her daughter a birthday party every year. "Here's the deal: she is getting a first birthday party, she is getting a sweet 16, and she is getting a graduation party," she stated.

"Other than that she is not getting any more birthday parties," she vowed before explaining why she's deciding to limit the number of annual celebrations for her child stating that she went to kids' birthday parties before she had a child of her own and that they weren't very fun experiences.

So she didn't want to subject anyone else to the same thing: "I am not going to force that on my friends and family. Now look if you are someone who genuinely enjoys throwing your child a birthday party, pop off Queen, and do what you wanna do. I'm not telling anyone else how to live their life, I just personally don't find it necessary and I'm not going to be doing it," she says.

Marissa clarified that while her daughter will be "loved and celebrated every single year," this doesn't mean she needs to put a shindig together at Chuck E. Cheese or an indoor trampoline park every 12 months.

She went on to clarify that she is going to move onto a "compound" with other members of her family and that each and every single year they're going to throw a "Daisy Day" for their daughter for her birthday. Yes, there's going to be a cake, along with a "special breakfast" and prior plans they suss out with their daughter before the special occasion to find out what she wants to do with her day.

"We are then gonna go shopping she's gonna get to pick out a couple of toys, she's gonna get to pick out a couple outfits, whatever she wants to buy. She's then gonna choose where she wants to have dinner and we will go out and have a nice celebratory one on one dinner with her where she can just have our full undivided attention. And I feel that's just so much more fun ad so much more genuine," the mother said.

Marissa said that her compound living isn't going to totally preclude her child from having more autonomy of her birthday celebrations when she's older — remarking that she'll be able to go to some of her friend's parties and choose to either have a Daisy Day on her own birthday or do something else.

"Now let's say she gets to to the age where she starts making some friends, she's being invited to some birthday parties that she's going to, and she wants to have a birthday party of her own. She is going to get the choice between a Daisy Day, or a birthday party. You can have a nice birthday party and invite all of your friends and we will go all out, or we can continue and you can have a Daisy Day," Marissa said.

"I'm just saying as someone who has been to a lot of them and kind of felt obligated to be at them I'm just not going to be doing it, it's a lot of stress on my part to organize and plan and put on the party and I'm not going to doing that to my friends who don't even have children my family, who their children will be older, I just don't want people sitting around at my house all day I'd rather just let my daughter celebrate in a way that she wants to celebrate," she says before the video cuts out.

Numerous people had differing opinions on the mom's decision to not organize annual birthday celebrations. There was one TikToker who urged the mom to give their daughter a party if she asked for one: "As someone whose birthday was forgotten except for a dinner and cake (because it was near Christmas) if she asks for a party IF SHE ASKS please give it to her. My family tried but still felt forgotten"

Someone else remarked that they felt Marissa was doing a little too much pre-planning for her child when they were still an infant: "You have a baby. You have no idea what kinds of choices you’ll make for your child in five or ten years. Are people actually taking you seriously?"

As other users in the comments section remarked, it appears that folks didn't listen to all of her video and assumed she was forbidding her daughter from having birthday parties entirely, but this wasn't the case: "so you didn’t like attending birthday parties so you’re not letting your child have birthday parties?" one asked.

Marissa explained that she prefers to spend her money on something her daughter would truly like to do and not just a shindig to impress a bunch of her friends: "I’d rather spend the money doing something she wants to do," she replied to the aforementioned user.

How do you feel about birthday parties? Do you feel like there are some parents who take them a little too far and get themselves overly stressed for no reason?