Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer Were Allegedly Fine with an Open Marriage, Initially

Author Neil Gaiman, best known for the novel Coraline, is facing serious allegations from multiple women who claim he sexually assaulted them. In January 2025, more accusations came to light, with many of the alleged incidents reportedly occurring during his marriage to Amanda Palmer.

Amanda, who has been in a relationship with Brendon Downey for nearly two years, has moved on from her time with Neil. However, elements of their shared past continue to resurface, with some details potentially casting her in a less favorable light, if the claims are true, that is.

While these allegations deserve further exploration at another time, Neil and Amanda’s relationship timeline provides key context for understanding how these alleged incidents align with their history.

Neil and Amanda first met in 2008 at a pivotal time in both their lives. Amanda, then 32, was caught in a dispute with her record label that eventually led to their split, while Neil, 47, was seeing continued success with nine of his works adapted for film and TV, including Neverwhere (1996), MirrorMask (2005), and Stardust (2007), per Vulture.

He was also in the midst of finalizing his divorce from his first wife, Mary McGrath, whom he married in 1985 and shares three children with.

Their meeting came about after Amanda asked Neil to caption photos of herself "posing as a murdered corpse." Intrigued, they decided to meet to discuss the project. A relationship eventually blossomed, with Neil suggesting they turn romantic. Amanda later shared in her memoir, The Art of Asking, that it wasn’t their looks that initially attracted them to each other.

A few years after meeting and beginning their relationship, Neil and Amanda tied the knot in 2011 at the home of their friends, Michael Chabon and Ayelet Waldman. According to some of Amanda's closest friends, per Vulture, she and Neil agreed to an open relationship, believing that sharing the details of their separate lives only strengthened their bond.

While this arrangement is believed to have played out during the earlier years of their marriage, which ended in divorce in 2022, things took a strange turn in 2012. Amanda slept with a 20-year-old fan, who has asked to be referred to as Rachel.

Months later, when the flame fizzled out between them, Amanda introduced Rachel to Neil online, and the two eventually met in person. In hindsight, Rachel believes Amanda handed her over to Neil "like a toy." Despite this, things appeared to be going well for Neil and Amanda at the time.

By 2014, Amanda and Neil were expecting a child — her first, and his third. While they reportedly agreed to "close" their marriage, according to Vulture, Neil ended up sleeping with a fan when Amanda was eight months pregnant. Things continued to spiral as Neil allegedly initiated sexual encounters with women who now describe their interactions as more forced than consensual.

By 2022, Neil and Amanda had divorced, though they continued to spend time together as co-parents to their child. Amanda even brought a woman named Scarlett Pavlovich, a friend and partial assistant to Amanda, around Neil. Scarlett has since come forward with allegations against Neil.

While the initial allegations emerged in mid-2024, more have continued to surface into 2025.