"Nope, Not What I Can Do" — Parent Expects Teacher to Write Party Invitations for Their Kid

A teacher posted a viral TikTok on how one mother attempted to try and get her to put together all of the invitations for her kid's birthday party.

Larson (@ktlarson27) detailed in her video that the mom in question sent a student to school with a bunch of envelopes.

The "invitation" extended to her to join the party seemed almost like a barter to get her to individually write on all of the invitation cards, stuff them in envelopes, and then put them in the respective mailboxes/cubbies for each student.

The TikToker explained that she wasn't going to be doing all of that for the parent, and there were tons of folks who replied to her video, writing in the comments section their own stories of over-reaching parents who think it's OK to make these kinds of demands of instructors, while adding that the perception of the type of work teachers do is largely misunderstood.

Larson begins her video, which she records from her car by stating:

"OK so I have a good one today. Yesterday a parent asked me for a class list so they can invite all the kids to the birthday party and I'm invited to the birthday party too. Very nice. Said no problem. Today, the stack of invitations came and I was like I guess I'll just put these in the mailboxes later," she says.

She continues, "So, no problem, we're outside all day. The last 20 minutes of the day, I was going to do it. I was going to stuff the invitations in the envelopes, stuff them because they weren't stuffed, and then put them in the mailboxes. I opened them up, only the first invitation was written on, none of the rest," she says into the camera.

"And that parent messaged me during the day with the information and I thought that was for me because I was invited. No, I was expected to write all the invitations. No. I responded I can't write all these invitations out and I sent them home with the class list. Nope. Not what I can do," the teacher says at the end of the video.

Numerous people who responded to the video replied that they were shocked at the gall of the parent who thought they could get the teacher to effectively be their own personal family secretary: "I was out at ‘the envelopes weren’t stuffed'” What the heck made a parent think that was OK?"

Another said that this type of behavior from the parent is a clear example of how there are tons of folks out there who are woefully uninformed about the kind of workplace schedules teachers have: "The fact that parents think teachers have time to address and stuff party invitations. We don’t have time to use the BATHROOM ma’am!!!"

Someone else thought that the teacher was already doing enough work to be a helpful party planner for the child's birthday: "Even you putting them into the kids' mailboxes was a nice gesture. Make the kiddo do it."

There was one user on the application who said that this same occurrence often happens with Valentine's Day cards: "This happens all the time with valentines. They just send in a sealed box of Valentine's cards and expect teachers to write names on them and stuff them in envelopes."

One person's comment suggested that there were so many problems with parents at their school that a rule was implemented to ban invitations of any kind, probably because parents kept on expecting teachers to take care of invitations for them: "One more reason that my school does not allow invites to be given out at school."

Other users on the application shared some of their own in-school birthday party fails, like when one of the parents decided to send their child in with a birthday cake, but nothing to cut or serve it with: "I once had a parent send in a whole birthday cake, no plates, no napkins, no forks, no knife!"

One TikTok user said that the perception of what teachers do all day is probably what spurred this type of action by the mom: "The parent thinks you’re just coloring and babysitting all day and that you should do it!"

According to a 2023 RAND Corporation Survey it's been reported that teachers work some 53 hours a week, which is seven more than the average working U.S. adult puts in week in, week out.

NEA Today reported on these findings in an article that addresses the perceptions surrounding the nature of teachers' work and how they are largely underappreciated.

An anonymous teacher, as reported by the Pew Research Center, said: "Teachers serve multiple roles other than being responsible for teaching curriculum. We are counselors, behavioral specialists, and parents for students who need us to fill those roles. We sacrifice a lot to give all of ourselves to the role as teacher."