“Someone Else's Birthday Is Not About You” — Mom Slams Parents Who Won’t Teach Kids Birthday Etiquette
"When I was younger everyone understood."
![Mustafa Gatollari - Author](https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/Svmb6c7FP/200x200/mustafa-headshot-5-1715200618128.jpg)
Published July 18 2024, 3:00 a.m. ET
![Mom Slams Parents Who Don’t Teach Their Kids Birthday Etiquette](https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/zGWu_dwJ-/480x251/kids-birthday-party-etiquette-parents-wont-teach-cover-1721235615173.jpg 480w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/zGWu_dwJ-/640x335/kids-birthday-party-etiquette-parents-wont-teach-cover-1721235615173.jpg 640w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/zGWu_dwJ-/768x402/kids-birthday-party-etiquette-parents-wont-teach-cover-1721235615173.jpg 768w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/zGWu_dwJ-/1024x536/kids-birthday-party-etiquette-parents-wont-teach-cover-1721235615173.jpg 1024w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/zGWu_dwJ-/1280x670/kids-birthday-party-etiquette-parents-wont-teach-cover-1721235615173.jpg 1280w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/zGWu_dwJ-/1440x753/kids-birthday-party-etiquette-parents-wont-teach-cover-1721235615173.jpg 1440w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/zGWu_dwJ-/1600x837/kids-birthday-party-etiquette-parents-wont-teach-cover-1721235615173.jpg 1600w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/zGWu_dwJ-/2160x1130/kids-birthday-party-etiquette-parents-wont-teach-cover-1721235615173.jpg 2160w)
Kam Laurente (@kamlaurente) has a bone to pick with parents who are unable to tell their kids no, and try to placate them at other people's birthday parties.
Her viral rant on "birthday etiquette" racked up 232,000 views from the first day it went up on TikTok. Here's what she had to say.
"One of my biggest pet peeves is when a child doesn't understand that someone else's birthday is not about them," she says, pointing her finger into the camera as a baby's leg can be seen entering the frame of her video. She then begins to talk about a birthday party interaction that rubbed her the wrong way.
"So [influencer Cecily Bauchmann] just posted a video of like her morning this morning and it's [her daughter] Capri's birthday. And Capri is blowing out her birthday candles and covers her little sister's mouth so she doesn't blow them out. As an older sister, I felt that one, Capri. The younger kids start throwing a fit, and so Cecily re-lights the candles multiple times to let her younger kids blow them out."
It doesn't seem like Kam was a big fan of letting the crying younger children get to blow out candles ... since it wasn't their birthday and all. "I understand what Cecily was trying to do, this is no hate to her whatsoever, she just wanted to keep the peace in her household and before kids, girl, I get it."
Despite not throwing any shade in Cecily's way, she still took issue with little stinkers thinking that the world revolves around them: "But this is actually one of my biggest pet peeves. Children, no matter their age, need to learn and understand birthday etiquette. Your birthday is one day a year and that person's birthday is also one day a year and it is all about them [just like] it is all about you on your day."
![birthday etiquette teach kids](https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/qRdGaVl4m/480x103/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-2-1721235389049.jpg 480w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/qRdGaVl4m/640x137/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-2-1721235389049.jpg 640w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/qRdGaVl4m/768x164/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-2-1721235389049.jpg 768w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/qRdGaVl4m/1024x218/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-2-1721235389049.jpg 1024w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/qRdGaVl4m/1280x273/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-2-1721235389049.jpg 1280w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/qRdGaVl4m/1440x307/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-2-1721235389049.jpg 1440w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/qRdGaVl4m/1600x341/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-2-1721235389049.jpg 1600w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/qRdGaVl4m/2160x460/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-2-1721235389049.jpg 2160w)
Kam says that by making concessions in these situations, parents are ultimately reinforcing poor habits with their children.
"If it is not your day, it's not about you. You don't get to blow out candles, you don't get to open presents. And I hate when parents make exceptions to those situations. Just to keep the peace. You're teaching your kid to be a spoiled brat."
She added that by keeping kids from learning this lesson, parents are failing to prepare them for actual scenarios they'll find themselves in.
"You're teaching your kid that someone else's moment can also be their moment, which is not the case in real life. If your kid can't handle someone else being celebrated, don't take your kid to that celebration."
Kam doubled down, stating that kids who throw a fit whenever they see someone else being the center of attention at a birthday party should be kept away from gatherings and celebrations altogether. "That includes their siblings, so not only are you teaching your younger children poor behavior and bad birthday etiquette, but you are also teaching your older child that their big moments in life will have to be shared with their younger sibling."
![birthday etiquette teach kids](https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/7wiYa35GG/480x149/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-1-1721235398675.jpg 480w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/7wiYa35GG/640x199/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-1-1721235398675.jpg 640w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/7wiYa35GG/768x239/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-1-1721235398675.jpg 768w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/7wiYa35GG/1024x318/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-1-1721235398675.jpg 1024w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/7wiYa35GG/1280x397/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-1-1721235398675.jpg 1280w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/7wiYa35GG/1440x447/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-1-1721235398675.jpg 1440w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/7wiYa35GG/1600x497/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-1-1721235398675.jpg 1600w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/7wiYa35GG/2160x670/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-1-1721235398675.jpg 2160w)
There were a lot of other users on the application who seemed to agree with Kam's point of view, like this one person who penned: "What’s worse is that they’re all old enough to understand that it’s not their birthday."
Another remarked that, in general, it seems like parents are caving into their children's demands just for a temporary bit of comfort that doesn't serve their kids in the long run: "Not even just birthday etiquette, just in general etiquette! Seems like a lot of parents don’t wanna parent for the sake of 'keeping the peace.'"
![birthday etiquette teach kids](https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/EiYpHv8_6/480x150/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-3-1721235408350.jpg 480w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/EiYpHv8_6/640x199/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-3-1721235408350.jpg 640w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/EiYpHv8_6/768x239/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-3-1721235408350.jpg 768w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/EiYpHv8_6/1024x319/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-3-1721235408350.jpg 1024w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/EiYpHv8_6/1280x398/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-3-1721235408350.jpg 1280w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/EiYpHv8_6/1440x448/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-3-1721235408350.jpg 1440w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/EiYpHv8_6/1600x498/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-3-1721235408350.jpg 1600w, https://media.distractify.com/brand-img/EiYpHv8_6/2160x671/parents-teach-kids-birthday-etiquette-3-1721235408350.jpg 2160w)
Another user griped about kids receiving gifts from family members even when it isn't their birthday: "I can't stand when parents or grandparents buy the siblings presents to open up as well when it's not their birthday."
Kam agreed that this irked her too and said that it's simply a consequence of parents refusing to instruct their kids on how to properly interact with others. "Like, it’s someone’s birthday, not Christmas. Everyone gets presents on Christmas, only the birthday person gets presents on their birthday. It’s not hard. They just don’t want to teach their kids."
And if you hate little kids who try and blow out their siblings' candles even when it isn't their birthday, then you might enjoy this legendary dad using a plate to block this kid's multiple attempts at doing just that.