The Proud Boys Initiation Ritual Looks Like Something You'd See on MTV's 'Ridiculousness'

Is there anything more cringe-worthy than wanting to be a member of the Proud Boys? The funniest part about a hate group focused on white nationalism and unkempt beards is the fact that at its core it's really just a club for misfits. Nothing screams, "I don't have much to bring to the table," quite like bonding over hostility and bigotry. If only these misguided neo-Nazis could find a real hobby. Imagine all of the sweaters they could knit! Alas, we may never see it.

Believe it or not, there is more to joining the Proud Boys movement beyond being a boring white dude. They actually have an initiation ritual that rivals that of any Mean Girls-type high school clique. If you're wondering if Frosted Flakes could be involved in this nonsensical ceremony, wonder no more because that is a definite possibility. So, let's get into the deep shame involved in becoming a Proud Boy.

The documentary It's Not Funny Anymore: Vice to Proud Boys takes viewers behind the rise and plateau of a movement that started in Canada. Looks like some of our neighbors to the north might have to turn in their "super nice card." For those who don't know, the movement was started by Vice co-founder Gavin McInnes in what can be described as one of the greatest heel turns of the century.

In a clip shared to the CBC Gem's TikTok, we get a hilarious peek behind the Proud Boys curtain which features their extremely silly initiation ritual. The hazing is described as "weird and childish" and begins with the interested party declaring, "I am a proud western chauvinist who refuses to apologize for creating the modern world." That's filed under the first degree or as we're calling it, the worst degree. It only gets more ridiculous from here.

Hold onto your breakfasts because the second degree is when at least five Proud Boys circle you so they can repeatedly punch you. This ends after you are able to name five kinds of cereals. John Harvey Kellogg, the guy who thought his cornflakes could curb the desire to masturbate, would roll over in his milk-filled grave. One man featured in the documentary said he had a great time during this part. He should try literally anything else.

Despite its name, the third degree does not include any sort of deeply painful burn, but there is some pain involved. This is when you get the words "Proud Boy" tattooed on your person. This begs the question, what's stopping a person from skipping these sad little steps and heading straight to a tattoo shop? Don't suggest it's because they possess an unwavering moral compass, as we know that's not the case.

For more on this story, you can stream It's Not Funny Anymore: Vice to Proud Boys on the CBC Docs website.