These People Totally Regret Trying to Cut Their Own Hair During Quarantine
Updated April 7 2020, 5:47 p.m. ET
It's getting to be that time, folks. Lots of us have been quarantining ourselves for about a month now. This means we haven't been spending time outside and we definitely haven't been heading to the barber for a trim. It's getting desperate up there (on our heads), especially for those who usually keep their hair quite short.
The brave and/or stupid have attempted their own "quarantine haircuts," and let's just say it's not going very well for most.
This guy let his wife cut his hair, and now he looks like the first draft of a Muppet. Either that or he looks like a guy with a shaved head who was walking around on a windy day and someone else's toupée leapt off their head and landed on his. It's that bad.
The caption to this tweet is, "My friend with the attention span of a toddler gave himself a haircut and it went as expected." I've never shaved my head, but I assumed it was kind of easy. Just hold and buzz, right? I guess not.
Oof. I am a person with long hair, and I've cut my hair before, but it's never gone this badly. It's hard to get the back completely straight when you're doing it yourself, but it's not that hard. This is a spectacular failure.
This guy messed up his mohawk, so he decided to go full-on Avatar: The Last Airbender before he shaved the rest of it off. One can only hope he kept this haircut for a few days.
This poor guy let his girlfriend cut his hair and now he looks like, in his own words, "Cambodian Garbage Hitler." It does say something that a lot of these terrible haircuts are reminiscent of Nazi haircuts. They may have believed that they were the superior race, but their hair and fashion choices were rough.
This person tried to cut their own bangs and transformed themselves into Jim Carrey from Dumb and Dumber in the process. The resemblance is uncanny.
"My kiddo cut his hair yesterday, then agreed to let me have a little fun with it before we fixed it," this Reddit caption reads. Oh, thank goodness. I'm glad this is a haircut in process and not the result of someone sneezing while holding clippers.
This guy let his girlfriend attempt a fade, and let's just say it did not go very well. This seems like it might be a situation that's relatively easy for a professional barber to rectify, but unfortunately, he will not be seeing one anytime soon.
Oh no. Maybe fades are harder to achieve than they look. This is terrible. At this point in the haircut is when I would start being like, "Hey, you know, I think you would look really great bald. You should try it!"
Oh no. Someone got way too happy with the clippers. As bad as the patch on the side is, though, the line in back is worse. This is when you throw out all the hair and wait for it to grow back.
Imagine trying to cut a little kid's hair during quarantine. Little kids often hate getting their hair cut and squirm or cry through the whole thing. This poor kid fell asleep halfway through his haircut. He's going to wake up to quite a surprise.
There was an attempt at a fade here, but three distinct layers unfortunately doesn't constitute a fade. However, this haircut was performed by an 11-year-old, so in that respect, it's pretty impressive. I don't know why this dude let a child cut his hair, but that's a whole 'nother issue.
The pain in this man's eyes is palpable. This haircut is so bad that the guy who cut it himself felt he had to clarify that, "NO, this was not inspired by Joe Exotic." Could have fooled me.
There are like five different lengths and textures happening in this one haircut and I have no idea how that could have possibly happened. It's a topographical map. I can't stop staring at it. The nooks and crannies. This haircut holds secrets.
Here's a tip: If you have a beard that you regularly trim, just pretend that the rest of your head is an extension of your beard (it kind of is!). Trim your head the way you would trim your beard! Foolproof, right?