Did Sam and Nia Rader's Marriage Survive His Ashley Madison Membership?
"Constantly lying to Nia was really hard for me."
Published May 16 2024, 1:49 p.m. ET
In August 2015, Ashley Madison was hacked by a group who called themselves The Impact Team. The data breach released the private information of all the account members, which meant thousands of individuals were suddenly faced with a reckoning of sorts in their own lives. The website catered to people who were interested in having an affair, with discretion being part of the appeal. Suddenly that was gone, and with it, countless lives were ruined.
Sam Rader was one of the many men who signed up on the site because he felt like something was lacking in his own life. He was married to a terrific woman with whom he shared two children. Despite a seemingly perfect life, Sam was still searching for validation that he couldn't find in his marriage. When Sam and his wife Nia went viral on social media by way of a YouTube video, that helped boost his self-confidence, but he was still keeping secrets from her. Are Sam and Nia Rader still together?
Before we get into whether or not Sam and Nia Rader are still together, let's look at how it all began.
Sam and Nia agreed to participate in a 2024 Netflix documentary about their experience with Ashley Madison and how it changed their lives forever. To do this, they had to go back to where their relationship began. Both admitted to having slightly unrealistic expectations of what love should look. They bought into fairy-tales and romantic comedies.
Sam was drawn to the "falling in love aspect." When he first met Nia, he truly believed all of his dreams were coming to fruition. Nia felt the same way as she looked back on their wedding day. As she walked down the aisle, Sam was openly weeping. "Oh my gosh," she thought. "He really loves me. If we really really follow through, this is going to be forever." At no point could she have predicted what would eventually happen.
They were married when Sam was 24 and Nia was 20, then quickly got pregnant. That's when things really started piling up for Sam, who was constantly stressed out about things like bills and raising his children. "That picture of love started disappearing," said Sam. He wanted that passion and romantic love the movies promised him. "I didn't want to leave my family but I wanted something exciting in life." That's when he stumbled upon Ashley Madison.
Signing up for Ashley Madison wasn't the first time Sam kept things from Nia.
Sam worked nights as an ER nurse and would surf the internet when things were slow. An advertisement for Ashely Madison caught his eye because, in Sam's words, it sounded intriguing. Pretty soon he was signing up using all of his real information. He was comforted by the fact that the website offered security and protection, but later Sam understood that when he signed up, he "made one of the biggest mistakes of my life."
According to Sam he had no intention of actually cheating on Nia, though he paid extra for different perks such as private messaging and sending winks to women. "Constantly lying to Nia was really hard for me," he explained. That didn't stop him from reaching out to anyone who seemed interesting. "Ashley Madison was a way to find women who were attracted to me so I could suck up their attention."
Things changed for Sam when he and Nia went viral for a YouTube video they made where they are lip-syncing to a song from Frozen. They practiced extremely hard to get it right and Nia remembers really enjoying that time. Sam discovered he was finally getting validation from the views on his video. "It was better than winning the lottery," he said. Sam longer felt like speaking with other women, so he deleted Ashley Madison and had no intention of ever telling Nia what he did.
On Aug. 18, 2015 the Ashley Madison data breach made that decision for Sam. They quickly filmed a video for their channel addressing the fact that he had an account on the site. In the video, Sam said that Nia had forgiven him. "I never had an affair with anybody, ever, while I've been married to Nia," claimed Sam.
When asked by the documentary if what he said in the video was true, Sam said no: "It was pretty much all lies." He was trying to protect himself.
A couple of days later they attended and spoke at Vlogger Fair. While on the way home, their family group chat started lighting up. One of the brothers said, "Sam, you have to be fully honest." It was then that Sam finally revealed to Nia that he had in fact been cheating on her and it started long before he signed up on Ashley Madison. He met women at massage parlors, strip clubs, and even hit on Nia's own friends. Naturally she was devastated. Sam moved out and they took some time apart.
They soon decided to do marriage counseling together. Sam kept apologizing and telling Nia how much he loved her, but then started really working on himself. He realized how selfish he was and said he didn't want to live like that anymore. After taking full responsibility for everything he had done to break his family, Nia decided to give Sam a second chance. "Falling deeply in love is beautiful but I've learned continuing to be deeply in love takes work," shared Sam. As of the time of this writing, they are still together.