New Mom Blasts Mother-In-Law for “Unhelpful” Gesture She Gave in Response to Postpartum Help

A new mom criticized her mother-in-law on TikTok for the "unhelpful" gesture she made in a conversation they had about how things were going after the birth of her third child.

The content creator, Jessica (@jessica_pen) uploaded a viral clip to the popular social media platform that has accrued over 121,000 views where she explains what was so messed up about what her mother-in-law said.

"We went to my mother-in-law's the other day and I just had a third baby and he's five weeks old, and she was just like, 'Oh, how are you doing?'"

She goes on to explain that her other kids are home with her all the time too.

Jessica says, "They're toddlers. So I just said, 'Oh, the hardest part is that my older toddlers really wanna, like, play outside.'"

She goes on to tell her mother-in-law what the issue is with that. "'And obviously, they're not bothered by the heat, but my baby can't really be out in the heat and I'm still like healing and recovering, so I could really use help,'" she says, referring to her children wanting to be outdoors in not-so-ideal weather conditions.

"'Somebody like, coming outside and playing with them while I chill inside with the baby,'" she explained to her partner's mom.

Jessica's mother-in-law, at first, seemed very willing and able to help her out with her problem, prefacing her offer with what seemed like a sincere expression of sympathy: "'Oh yeah, yeah, I totally understand, I know what you mean,'" her MIL said.

However, her remixed offer for assistance initially took Jessica back, because instead of her saying she would go outside to hang out with her toddlers to allow the new mom some time indoors with the baby, she instead said she could hang out indoors and cuddle with the infant.

"And then again the conversation she was like, 'Yes, if you ever need help let me know. I could just come over and like, you know, hold the baby.' And I was just so confused. I'm wondering if she was listening to me or heard me the whole time I was talking, 'cause she acted like she was," Jessica narrates into the camera.

"She was like, agreeing with me but then at the end she just said the most unhelpful thing ever," she says, laughing into the camera.

Jessica added in a caption for her video, "When your MIL has her own agenda..." Judging by many of the comments left by several other users on the application, they agreed this was the case.

One person said that people will pull this kind of trick when they're trying to offer help but not actually provide that help: "Then they be like 'I offered to help but she wouldn’t let me.'"

Another commenter replied that they thought it boiled down to pure selfishness: "She heard you. They just don’t care about anyone but themselves."

To many of the commenters, the correct response in that situation seemed very clear: "Help is when someone does something for you so YOU can bond with your baby."

Jessica agreed with the aforementioned TikToker, writing: "Exactly! Especially when it’s spelled out so clearly moments before lol."

Apparently, this offer to "help" was something other folks had experience with, too. "I will neverrrr understand the 'I can just come hold the baby' statement," one commented. "Like no, do everythingggg else but that please."

There were some people who seemed to understand where Jessica's mother-in-law was coming from, however, like this person who wrote: "She prob just also didn’t want to be in the heat or chase around toddlers. She is old. But wanted to help."

However, others seemed to think that mothers-in-law just generally aren't all that helpful: "They never want to actually do work and help. They just want to sit there."

There's no shortage of think pieces that have been posted online about mothers-in-law who "overstep" when it comes to their grandchildren.

At the end of the day, the best advice we have for people who need help from their mothers-in-law (or anyone!) is to directly ask for it. And you happen to be a mother-in-law, our advice is to do what you're asked if you're able!