30 People Share the "Most Unprofessional" Things They've Done That Almost Got Them Fired

We've all done things we probably weren't supposed to do at work. We've all printed personal things or written personal emails on company time. But this thread of the most unprofessional things people have done at work go beyond the norm. These are egregious and, frankly, amazing. Thanks @ssshellyyyy for starting this thread and getting people to admit these deep, dark secrets.

This is incredible, and, I would argue, actually very professional. Because no one uses Linkedin for anything other than work. And writing your own Linkedin endorsements? That's just enterprising. 

Technically, she's not lying. She is at an off-site meeting... with her couch, or her credit card. If she gets all her work done, she should be able to shop and hang out at home as much as she wants.

I don't know a single person who hasn't done this. If you're at work all day, what are you supposed to do? Go home and continue working on your career? I don't think so. If you've got one foot out the door, the faster you get both feet out, the better.

This is amazing. She was the Robin Hood of the bookstore. Steal from the textbooks and give to the students. Textbooks can cost students a thousand dollars a semester! She's doing a good deed giving students books for free.

Sure, this is pretty unprofessional, but I'm also mostly super impressed that they got away with this. I would be sweating bullets the whole time if I took over a conference room to interview with another company. 

This cannot be real. Can it?! This seems like something Macauley Culkin would have done in Home Alone. I hope it worked. I hope no one stole her lunch or snacks ever again.

In case you aren't aware, "SBD" stands for "silent but deadly." This is one of the most ruthless, incredible things I have ever read. How does she control her farts so well? I need to learn her ways.

First of all, "homies and homettes" is my new favorite phrase. Second of all, if the rooms aren't being used, why shouldn't you take a break and go take a nap in them? Otherwise they're just sitting there empty!

This is amazing. If I was going to take a nap at work, first of all, it wouldn't be my first move to lie down on a conference table, and second of all, it especially wouldn't be my move in a room with glass walls.

OK, this is straight-up terrible, but I also need to know what happened next. What was the customer's reaction? Did they get fired for this? I can't imagine it went over well with their boss. 

Um, I love this. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. And what does the office coffee maker need hot water for anyway? It never makes good coffee, no mater what workplace you're in. You could work for a fancy coffee company. The office coffee would still suck.

I... I don't understand how she did this, but I also feel a weird sense of awe? And pride? This stranger who roasted a chicken at her desk is my hero now. 

I love this mainly because the boss couldn't tell that his own employee's whole head was a completely different color. Was she just like, "Oh, I just think I'm tired today!"?

This woman did a whole professional manicure, drill and all, at her office desk. When she was on the phone, and people were like, "It sounds like there's drilling in the background," did she just claim that they were doing construction outside? Because that's 100 percent what I would have done.

Look, I get it. Sometimes you need a break. And if you work in a place like Walmart where you wear an easily removable uniform, this is the easiest way to take a load off. Someone wrote that the trick is to walk slowly down the aisle and make it look like you're searching for something. 

We've all been put on hold for obscene amounts of time. Honestly, if I knew that someone put me on hold so they could go get high with their friends, I wouldn't be as mad. I'd be like, "You do you! I'll be here when you get back!"

This is just part of every job, isn't it? Especially if you live in a place where it's hard to receive packages, I think it's totally cool to get stuff sent to the office. 

I love this so much. But they have to be careful talking about their families! If people sense that their stories are too similar, they're going to get found out!

If you haven't gone to the bathroom at work just because you need a break, who even are you? I have definitely posted up in a stall just to shut my eyes for a few minutes. It's not unprofessional. It's a survival tactic.

You're at work for the vast majority of every weekday of your life! It's absurd to expect people to do nothing pertaining to their personal lives during that time. These all seem acceptable to me.

This is amazing. I do have questions, though. Did she have the mannequin head at work prior to using it to make the wig? Also, what industry is she in? If she's a hairdresser, not so weird. If she works in a cubicle for an insurance company or something, that's a different story.

I was waiting for someone to say they had sex at work, and this story does not disappoint. Behind the counter! Watching people walk by! It's appropriate that it happened at Things Remembered because that is not something you ever forget.

This is adorable and I don't think this counts as unprofessional at all. In fact, if I ran an office, I would have coloring supplies available for my employees. It's relaxing and could help you focus!

I do think people who are disrespectful to fast food workers deserve punishment, but I'm not sure throwing away perfectly good food is the answer. Refusing to give them their order and then giving it to more deserving people? Absolutely. 

This one actually made my jaw drop. This seems like a line from a movie, not real life. I actually can't believe he said that. I hope he went for a high five right after.

I had a job where I had to go on runs once, and if you think I didn't just park my car around the corner of the office when I was done and sat there for a few minutes, you'd be dead wrong. 

May I say that it was very clever to claim to have a migraine when she was actually too high to function. No one can argue with a migraine. 

Genius! Sometimes, you just have one of those days where you need to eat a whole batch of cookies, and if you work at a place that sells them, this is your best bet. I don't blame her one bit.

When coworkers do nice things like this for each other, I get this warm, fuzzy feeling in my heart. Time is a construct anyway. 

I am no fan of office pranks, but the fish tank is pretty good, mainly because if I found out one of my desk drawers had been turned into a fish tank I would embrace the heck out of it and give a lovely home to some cute little fish.