40 Incredibly Corny and Naughty Valentine's Day Jokes to Make Your Sweetheart Laugh

It's officially Valentine's Day, and do you know what that means? It's time to pull out your pinks, reds — wine that is — and act like a dad by telling only the cringiest and corniest of all jokes.

Show your Valentine they're special by rattling off some silly one-liners. From corny jokes to NSFW naughty jokes, we've rounded up some of our favorite romantic quips.

1. Why did the magnet hit on the refrigerator? He found her to be very attractive.

2. What do you call a couple who met on X (formerly Twitter)? Tweethearts!

3. Who always has a date on Valentine's Day? The calendar.

4. What did the sweetheart say to the baker? "I love your buns!"

5. How did the phone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.

6. How do you get in trouble on Valentine's Day? By stealing too many hearts.

7. Is your name Chapstick? Because I think you're da balm!

8. How do chefs show their love? They whisk you off your feet.

9. Do you know what this shirt is made of? Hubby/wifey material.

10. Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda only one for me!

11. Did you hear about the two radios that got married? The reception was amazing.

12. Did you hear about the bed bugs who fell in love? They're getting married in the spring!

13. Knock, knock. Who's there? Mary. Mary who? Marry me, I love you.

14. What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you!

15. What kind of dinner does Cupid eat? A heart-y one.

16. What happened to the two angels who got married? They lived harpily ever after.

17. What did the painter say to his girlfriend? I love you with all my art.

18. How can you save money on Valentine’s gifts? Become single.

19. How did the cashew share its feelings with the almond? I'm nuts about you.

20. Why was the cook arrested on Valentine's Day? She was caught beating an egg.

21. Why did the tomato turn red on Valentine's Day? Because it saw the salad dressing!

22. Why did the couple go to the gym on Valentine's Day? To work on their relationship!

23. What do you get when you kiss a vampire on Valentine's Day? A pain in the neck!

24. What do you get when you cross a dog with a Valentine's Day card? A love hound!

25. Why did the computer break up with the internet? There was no connection.

26. What's the best way to watch your partner's heart race? Take off their clothes!

27. I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock.

28. My ideal body weight is yours on top of mine.

29. Roses are red, violets are blue, and all my naughty thoughts include you.

30. This holiday may be named after a saint, but nothing I'm going to do to you tonight is church-sanctioned.

31. Is that Cupid's arrow in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

32. What do you call two people who have been in bed together all day? Tired but satisfied.

33. What's the difference between a hot date and a cold date? One's spicy, the other's just ice cream!

34. Something on Valentine's Day I just don't get… Laid.

35. What's the most romantic part of the body? The lips — especially when they're smooching someone special!

36. A card isn't the only thing you'll be opening tonight.

37. I love you to the bedroom and back!

38. Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes... and your sheets.

39. Is it hot in here, or is it just you steaming up my night?

40. If I were to write a book about our night together, the title would be: What Happens Next Should Be Rated R.

Happy Valentine's Day!