If You Don't Know What "Getting Curved" Means, You're Very, Very Fortunate
Published July 17 2021, 1:03 p.m. ET
It can be a little embarrassing when you're confronted with unfamiliar nomenclature, especially in a group setting. In the words of G-Eazy, "Real recognizin' that you don't speak the lingo" can feel humiliating, which is something that my aging self encounters on a daily basis while sifting through various social media feeds peppered with esoteric terms I need to employ all sorts of mental gymnastics to understand.
Personally, "getting curved" isn't one of them, but that says more about my romantic history than it does my perspicacity for new slang. So what does "getting curved" mean?
What does "getting curved" mean?
In short, "getting curved" means getting rejected, and it's usually applied in a romantic context. These days, everyone's trying to get their swerve on in group settings, and for many, it's the first time they've dipping their toes into the dating pool since forever. That means there are going to be a lot of folks with rusty games.
Sure, there are gonna be a lot of folks who are desperate and might not care that you approached them awkwardly and said, "Hoooooooow's it going?" in a way that's way too weird to ignore. But there's also a good chance that you and many others are going to be curved.
But let's face it, most people are trying to lay their game down thick in the form of messaging, whether it's through popular dating apps or the proverbial slide into the DMs of an individual they fancy.
An in-person curve may sting more. Like, let's say a person whom you find attractive at the bar is staring at you and then suddenly does an about-face away from you and walks back to their friend group.
That hurts, but at least you know exactly where they stand. However, when you're trying to lay game on via text, the curves can tread on the territory of ambiguity. Let's say you message someone suggesting you should hang out sometime. Let's say they take a few days to respond and say something along the lines of "Sounds good!" but don't offer up any definitive times, locations, or any other information suggesting that they're actually interested in doing so.
While that may leave you like the subject of Go West's 1990 classic "King of Wishful Thinking" as you interpret the ambiguity as a potentially good thing, the truth of the matter is that you're probably getting curved.
Try following up with that message to only receive another delayed response that's equally as vague. "Ha!" Or "Yeah let's set something up!" but then there's never anything set up. Most likely, they're not interested, and you're a back-up plan at best.
So how does one respond to getting curved?
If someone doesn't express interest in you, you've got to immediately address the elephant in the room with yourself. First and foremost: Don't be a creep and constantly pursue the curver or obsess over them. There are tons of psychological studies performed on the subject of love, including unrequited attempts at fulfilling it.
If you find that you can't stop thinking about the one who curved you, then you may need to realize that your fixation isn't necessarily with them but the idea of love itself. As corny as this may sound, you might find more success if you live your life as if you're already in love. Like Ed Sheeran via Justin Bieber says: Baby, you should go and love yourself.
I think those two musical nerds were definitely onto something when they wrote that.