The Concept of "Soft Swinging" Put the 'Secret Lives' Mormon Moms on the Map

The moms on The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives have been trying their best to change the way many of us view Mormon marriages, for better and for worse. The reality series, which is now streaming on Hulu, follows a group of Mormon moms who hit internet celebrity status on TikTok before scandal rocked the group and practically made them infamous. Said scandal has turned plenty of onlookers on their heads over what it means to be Mormon in this day and age.

In case you weren't aware, Taylor Frankie Paul — the most popular of the #MomTok influencers — got into a spot of hot water when she broke the ground rules on her open relationship with her ex-husband, Tate Paul. The two of them were openly engaging in "soft swinging," something they did with other couples. But after news broke that Taylor broke the rules on their arrangement, #MomTok blew up in an unexpected way. But what is soft swinging and why did it impact the Secret Lives moms so hard?

The #MomTok influencers were already internet stars by the time they first graced the internet. But because the internet loves a scandal, they really hit it big when Taylor's soft-swinging controversy broke.

A dating resource called Seeking defines soft swinging as "the custom of engaging in sexual activity with your partner in the same room as another couple, but not swapping or sharing partners." Rumors quickly spread that many moms within the #MomTok circle were in on the soft-swinging trend.

However, they had their own ground rules. For instance, the moms would allegedly switch partners, despite what Seeking suggests. It all seemed to be consensual, albeit with some strict ground rules set by the couples involved.

And you may know how the rest of the story goes, but those ground rules became a major sticking point when Taylor broke the ones she had with Tate. In her 2022 confessional video, Taylor admitted that she'd violated her soft-swinging agreement.

"[Our rules were] as long as we were both there and we saw it, it was OK," Taylor admitted in her video. "And the second it goes behind without each other, you've stepped out of the agreement. And I did that."

Taylor and Tate filed for divorce shortly after her scandal went public, but Taylor has continued generating clout ever since with the rest of the #MomTok moms.

For as many eyebrows as the Secret Lives moms have raised in the Mormon community, they seem to have raised some in the dedicated swinging community for their actions.

In an interview with Rolling Stone, an anonymous member of the swinging community criticized the way they executed their soft-swinging circle.

"There was deceit. There were no clear boundaries, no clear rules. They were just flying by the seat of their pants and it kind of all blew up in their faces," they told the outlet.

It would seem that not even the most promiscuous of sexually active communities approve of what the Secret Lives moms have done in the past.