YouTuber Jonathan Morrison on His Health Battle: "It Hurt to Be Awake, It Hurt to Be Asleep"

If you've been tuned into the tech YouTuber space, you probably know Jonathan Morrison. But fans grew concerned when he stopped putting out regular content amid a health crisis.

So what happened to Jonathan? Here's what we know.

Jonathan posted a detailed YouTube video on June 17, 2024, breaking down his health struggles over the past year, though his health issues had begun before then.

In a situation he described as being "trapped for 10 months with no escape," Jonathan explained how a mix of shingles, eye scarring, and nerve damage had completely overturned his life, to the point that he "lost everything."

"From what I've been able to gather so far, shingles impacted and hit multiple cranial nerves ... and either I had a mini stroke at some point or there was enough neuroinflammation to cause brain trauma," he said.

Confused, disoriented, and unable to see clearly — in addition to being in great pain — Jonathan says he also experienced memory loss: "Even my own mom looked like a stranger."

"I lost every part of me: video, music, guitar, my team, career, my office ... but worst of all my mind," he explained. "It was taken, and I was trapped inside, frozen, with just enough awareness to know that this wasn't it. But I think what hurts the most is that it took me away from being the person I needed to be from the people I cared about most. I know I let people down and I am forever sorry."

He noted that it's one thing to not be able to see things physically, but not to be able to see things in his mind was "hell."

He couldn't move his own eyes properly, but he said inside his brain is where things got "nasty."

"My visual system was overloading my brain and then causing my central nervous systems to shut down," he explained, going on to describe how the nerve damage in his brain had affected his heart rate and his tongue movement — to the point where he sometimes couldn't mentally or physically speak. His hearing was affected as well.

Unable to exercise, look on his phone, watch TV, or really walk much, Jonathan says he was in an "endless loop of hell." Things got "really dark" and he didn't see a way out.

"I just wanted peace because it hurt to be awake and it hurt to be asleep," he said.

He would later discover he had a bulged disc and a pinched nerve in his neck (more on that discovery in a moment), and the combination of that pain with all of the "brain stuff" with the shingles and the nerve damage made for an excruciating experience. He said he couldn't even turn his head left or right.

Jonathan felt that he wasn't being listened to by doctors, specialists, and neurologists, who told him it was "in [his] head" and prescribed anti-anxiety medication. He wanted an MRI, but apparently the doctors he initially saw didn't think that was necessary. Jonathan says he finally found a PCP who listened to him and ordered an MRI.

"That MRI changed my life," he said, adding that the report showed a bulged disc, degeneration, and a pinched nerve. Jonathan says he's not sure how he got this damage, but it may have been from playing at WWE wrestling with his friends in high school.

He was told to find a spine surgeon, who then recommended a chiropractor, but Jonathan had a bad experience with the chiropractor, who was dismissive and aggressive with him. He'd already been wary of chiropractors to begin with.

After doing some digging on YouTube, he stumbled upon some doctors who finally seemed to be describing what he'd been experiencing. He listed all the names of the doctors and clinics that helped him in the caption of his video as well.

Jonathan said he's grateful for those neck problems because it was what led him to so many "amazing doctors." One in particular suggested they get some pressure off of Jonathan's neck. As Jonathan described it, his nervous system was "getting punched in the face twice by both my neck and all the fun brain shingles stuff." So when this doctor found a way to take some pressure off his neck, Jonathan says it allowed his nervous system to reset, rest, and heal.

He also ended up finding a clinic in California that helped him with vision rehab, which he said is basically the same as rehab for the brain because "you're rebuilding broken and damaged neuropathways." He also got some help for his eye with a special kind of lens that helped with his scarring.

Jonathan said at the end of his video that while things aren't completely better and he isn't fully healed, he feels about 60 percent better, which to him is incredible progress. He admitted he has "one foot still in hell," but that at least the other foot is out the door. He also said that it is basically like a full-time job going through all his rehabbing.

But mainly he's just glad to finally have answers. "That was the worst part: the unknown," he said.

He said that "things have been dark and grim and brutal" and he hadn't worked for about a year, and that he felt he was now "starting over." He said he's excited to start making videos again, albeit at a slower pace.

If you want to help Jonathan, he has a GoFundMe and a Patreon.