What to Buy the Person Who Has, Well, Everything

This year, the holidays are going to look a little different; you probably won’t see some of your closest and most favorite relatives; you won’t get any knocks on the door from carolers; you won’t even risk running into anyone from your high school on Christmas morning because your mom realized she forgot something “essential” (strictly in the pre-2020 definition of the word) for the holiday dinner. 

But the comfort of tradition is knowing that there are some things that — despite our world and everything in it being turned upside down — will absolutely remain the same. All over the world, little kids will eagerly leave their letters to Santa; somewhere, a Jewish family is fighting with someone’s new significant other over FaceTime about whether latkes should be eaten with applesauce or sour cream (though there’s no reason to debate when the answer is obviously applesauce…); and, even though we’re in the middle of a global pandemic, there’s still one person who is absolutely impossible to buy a gift for: The person who already has everything. 

So what do you buy the person who has everything? You get creative. You go with something they’ve never heard of, never thought of, or just… Didn’t realize existed. Fortunately for you, we have a few suggestions!

Hear me out: The best gift you can give someone is a bathrobe. This is something I learned recently — after I was gifted a bathrobe, and then proceeded to buy several as gifts. It’s a life-changing addition to my routine, and it’s something not everyone would think of but definitely needs during this ongoing pandemic. 

ettitude’s new bath bundle includes a robe, bath towel, hand towel, and washcloth — all made from the brand’s vegan, organic, and completely cruelty-free CleanBamboo — and will make your hard-to-shop-for friend feel like they’re at a spa even though, let’s be honest, no one has gone anywhere in about nine months. And buying them all together as a bundle rather than individual items will save you 15 percent! 

Imagine coming up with a gift better than peace and relaxation? Impossible! If your person who has everything has everything because they’re constantly on the go, believe us when we say they need Charlotte’s Web CBD! 

If you’ve been living under a rock, here’s the deal with CBD: Cannabidiol, aka CBD, is the non-psychoactive chemical compounds found in hemp plants with significant research showing that it could aid in health, wellness, and relaxation — in other words, all of the benefits of marijuana and none of the high. And Charlotte’s Web is the best of the best. The Calm Gift Set contains gummies, an oil tincture, and a roll-on to help even your most active of friends and relatives get their relaxation on. 

Okay, let’s just say your friend or relative enjoys their hemp plants in the more “traditional” way — where it’s legal of course — here’s something they definitely don’t have: Blazy Susan’s Spinning Rolling Tray. The tray is designed after the Lazy Susan you’ve seen on your grandma’s kitchen table, but, as the website states, “rather than spinning salads and casseroles, this Susan is designed for your pipes, dab rings, ashtrays, jars, grinders, papers, or anything else that suits your stoner needs!” 

It also makes a great conversation piece! 

If you have a high maintenance man in your life, he probably has just about everything you can ever imagine when it comes to manscaping. Enter, the one thing you never imagined: Ballsy Brands’ Jolly Jewels Kit. 

The Jolly Jewels set features all of Ballsy’s most-loved products designed to keep your man’s jewels, well, jolly: their ballwash, nut rub, and sack spray — all of which are paraben-free, safe for the most sensitive areas, and activated charcoal-based to keep everything down there fresh. 

Much like a robe, there isn’t a single person on the planet whose life wouldn’t be made better by owning one of these massagers. Whether they’re the kind of person who has dedicated their time at home to gettin’ shredded, or if they’ve been slumped over their laptop on their couch for most of the year, or if they’re somewhere in between, they will love the Pro Percussion Massager (and you for getting it)! 

In 2020, we’ve learned we can get just about anything we need at home — so why should a professional-quality massage be any different? 

There probably isn’t a match made in heaven than the person who has everything and little tool that does it all. A Swiss Army Knife is something that it seems like fewer and fewer people have handy, yet more and more people can probably use in their life. 

Available in four colors, the Swiss Champ is a little guy that truly packs a punch; measuring at less than four inches and weighing in at not even half a pound, the Swiss Champ has 33 functions — in other words, it’ll do just about anything whether you’re the outdoorsy type or not. Some highlights include two blades, a corkscrew, a mini screwdriver, a can opener, tweezers, and much, much more. 

The creators of We’re Not Really Strangers put it best: Self-awareness is a superpower we can all cultivate. And you can help give the people in your life the gift of self-awareness with their self-reflection kit. We’re Not Really Strangers is a card game based on finding purpose, empowerment, and connection, and the Self-Reflection Kit comes with a journal and 52 prompts that’ll have someone getting to know themselves even better.

After the year we’ve been through, we can all use a drink — there’s absolutely no shame in that! And if you’re going to get someone in your life some liquor, you can’t go wrong with Toast, a Black-owned spirit made in the United States and distilled in Florida. 

Toast’s founder, Miami-based restauranteur Dieuveny “DJ” Louis, recognized that in the States, vodka was primarily used in cocktails and wanted to create a vodka that could really stand on its own — and the rest is history. We’ll cheers to that! 

We all know someone who cares more about their dog than themselves (you may even be someone who cares more about their dog than yourself)! Pet Plate’s founder Renaldo Webb is definitely one of those people. Pet Plate is human-grade, freshly cooked dog food prepared at a USDA-inspected facility and flash frozen to preserve all of the nutrients. He was inspired to make fresh pet food after learning what is in traditional kibble (spoiler alert — not only do you not want to know… but you’ll also want to stop giving it to your dog ASAP). 

Not only is Pet Plate good for your dog, but it’s also picky pet-approved (even my 14-year-old poodle mix — the pickiest eater I know — ate it up). And anything that makes the pupper happy will make their human happy, we promise! 

Giving an experience — rather than something physical — has a lot of benefits; not only is it more sustainable because of all the waste associated with gift-giving and the holiday season, but it’s also flexible in terms of cost, and can be purchased last minute. 

This year has been a really hard one for many people, and you’re lucky more aware of how many people are in need than ever before. Finding a cause that is meaningful to the recipient is a really nice way to show you care — especially if they truly have everything!