Internet Shares Their Favorite White People Catchphrases — Hilarity Ensues

One statement that will go down in history as the whitest thing ever said is: “I don’t see color.”

While it may seem like a friendly way to reaffirm allyship to your non-white counterparts, we, as the Black delegation, would like to inform you that you’re doing it wrong.

To not see race would mean to turn a blind eye to the disproportionate economic disparities between Black and white communities — both locally and abroad. Not seeing race would thereby make one complicit in racism.

You see, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. never dreamed that America would be blind — just equal.

And FYI, nothing brings us closer together than our differences.

For example — AAVE is a language that's specific to the Black community. Even though no one has ever met Boo Boo the Fool, we all know that our mama ain’t it — nor is she one of our little friends. But white people have some pretty widely-known catchphrases as well.

The Relentless Diaries podcast went viral after the trio of hosts posted a video talking about the most quintessential white people catchphrases known to man. In fact, one host had a whole list of sayings in his Notes folder.

“Don’t start with me pal,” he read from the list, adding: “I screwed the pooch!”

Understandably, his co-hosts had a hard time understanding that one.

Another host chimed in: “Or they'll like whisper things. ‘I’m just gonna sneak past ya …’”

Other TikTokers took to the comment section with their favorite catchphrases. “Mine is, ‘Get a load of this guy,’” one person wrote while another added, “For crying out loud!”

If you or a loved one has ever used one of these phrases, the comments were proof that you are not alone! “As a white person, this is so funny,” one commenter wrote alongside a laughing emoji on TikTok. “I didn’t even realize that I say like all of these.”

Another user chimed in: “Literally this is so accurate! I feel attacked hahaha!”

The growing list of white people catchphrases is the long-running inside joke the internet didn’t know it needed.

You can find even more iconic white people phrases on Twitter. In a tweet with more than 369K likes and 51K reposts, @ourhyperballad posted their own compilation of top-tier sayings which included but weren't limited to: “You’re barking up the wrong tree,” and, “Now listen here, pal!”

And let’s not forget the classic, “Newsflash, buddy!”

The replies to the thread were just as hilarious. @BoozeBlogsChuck offered the perfect white people catchphrase to use during a confrontation. “Oh yeah? You and what army,” they tweeted.

Someone else replied: “I’ve used this many of times. Can confirm the opposition’s timbers were in fact shivered.”

Let's be clear. This isn't a story about race. While we still have quite a ways to travel on the quest for racial justice, we can crack a couple of jokes along the way, right?

Anyways, I guess it's about time that I skedaddle.