Wife Asks Husband to Cancel Boys Trip to Help With the Baby, He Refuses

Allison DeGrushe - Author
By

Updated Aug. 10 2023, 7:58 a.m. ET

Everyone knows that becoming a parent poses many challenges for new moms and dads, so we can't blame them for wanting to escape the chaos for a few days and unwind on vacation. Take it from this man in the wildly popular "AITA" subreddit, who was eager to be on the golf course with his buddies — until his wife demanded he stay home.

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The original poster, who goes by the handle u/mc78907, revealed that his wife wanted him to cancel his long-awaited boys trip because she was afraid to take care of their baby alone — but he refused.

Read on for the whole story. Plus, stick around to hear whose side the internet is on (you'll be surprised).

A group of guys in golf carts.
Source: Getty Images
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A wife wanted her husband to ditch his boys trip and stay home with the baby.

The OP revealed that he and his wife have a one-year-old son. When the baby was five months, the OP and several of his friends began planning an annual golf trip. The trip wouldn't happen for another six months, but everyone agreed they would be there for two days and three nights.

After his wife gave him permission to go, the OP "began to plan," booking flights and an Airbnb, which cost him about $1,000. Fast forward to a couple of weeks before the trip, the baby "was in the midst of a sleep regression, and he was waking up several times each night." The OP's wife, who was still breastfeeding, was the only person the baby wanted during these times (he rejected the OP's help).

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Redditor u/mc78907 revealed that his wife wanted him to cancel his long-awaited boys trip.
Source: Reddit / u/mc78907

A few days before the trip, the OP's wife approached him and said she didn't want him to go on the trip anymore. She said he "needed to stay home" because she didn't want to take care of the baby on her own. Although he understood, the OP refused because he already committed to the flights and Airbnb.

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He coordinated help to take care of their baby, but the OP's wife "wasn't comfortable" with another person watching their son. As a result, she was left to do everything by herself — and it's safe to say she wasn't happy.

The OP said they argued, and his wife was "very mad that I would not change my mind. I told her that I'd gladly return the favor on a trip if she wanted to plan one and encouraged her to do so."

"During my trip, she sent me texts and called me, very upset," the OP added. "When I returned home, we had another argument about it. We've since reconciled, but I know her stance on it has not changed, nor has mine."

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The post left Redditors divided.

The post racked in thousands of comments, and many fellow Redditors took the OP's side.

"Wasting that amount of money is insane to me," one person said. "I'm a mom, and I flat out sent her father on a trip while she was in a sleep regression because having him around being effectively useless since she only wanted me made everything approximately 100x harder emotionally and mentally."

Redditor u/catprat commented, "NTA, I'm a single mum who has never had any help. I know it's difficult, but I'm sure she can manage for a few days."
Source: Reddit / u/catprat
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Another shared, "I know it can be hard to trust anyone with a baby, but I feel like having a friend, family member, or well-vetted babysitter come to help out for a few hours each day he was gone so she could take a nap was the most reasonable option, as this was a long-planned trip where money would be lost if they canceled."

"He was gone just two days, told her in advance, already paid for it (it would be wasting a grand), plus told her he was completely fine if she [took] a trip of her own," a third Redditor wrote. "She also wasn't comfortable with help, plus the baby didn't want him at night, so..."

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On the other hand, a few other Reddit users took the OP's wife's side: "If my wife asked me to stay home, I absolutely would because I know my wife would only ask me if she REALLY needed me to stay home," a Redditor penned.

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Source: Reddit
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"I'd be mad if my husband wanted to blow that much money after just having a child or considering leaving for days," someone else added. "I had severe PPD. and it was awful. Just because something was easy for you doesn't make her a drama queen."

A third Reddit user commented, "Not everyone has family or friends close by, and not everyone can afford to pay for their family/friends to come to them. Also, postpartum depression. If she feels she can't do it on her own and it scares her, perhaps she shouldn't be left alone for even three days."

What do you think? Was the OP wrong for not canceling his trip? Let us know!

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