"This Is How Bad I Overshare" — Woman Awkward at Small Talk

A woman caught herself immediately reacting to an awkward conversational exchange with a stranger who was attempting small talk with her. And while she called herself out on camera, and shook her head at her own reply, it turns out there were a lot of people in the comments section of her post who seemed to relate.

Lizzy (@lizelleperaza) posted this encounter in a viral TikTok that's accrued over 1.2 million views on the popular social media application.

"It's warm out here today!" someone could be heard saying off-camera. The woman then responds with a remark that some might define as oversharing.

"Yes I was wearing a sweatshirt yesterday when I went out and today I had to take it off right away when I got outside," she says, looking behind her as she sits and stares off into the distance.

Then, she turns around and looks at the camera, cringing in self judgment over the response she just gave. Next, she looks up and begins replaying the interaction in her head.

"It's warm out here today," she says, responding to the stranger's comment.

"It sure is," she replies with an after-the-fact remark. It seems like that's the response she wishes she gave the kind individual who reached out to her.

She then turns around and appears to wave the awkwardness she felt off. In a caption for the post she pens: "Proof my small talk game is as unpredictable as the weather. At least the dog didn't judge me ... I think."

Obviously, Lizzy isn't the only person who has trouble with small talk. Vox published a piece in 2019 discussing the phenomenon of small talk and why many of us find it "so excruciating."

The author says that although they, along with many other people, despise the act, it's an integral part of human communication with other members of our species. "If you hate and avoid small talk, you are also, as a practical matter, cutting yourself off from lots of meaningful social interaction."

In the same piece, Vox also referenced a study conducted by the American Psychological Association regarding small talk. In the experiment, test subjects were asked to be more gregarious with other folks on trains and buses during commutes. Another group was asked to seek solitude during these rides as well. At the end of the experiment, they were asked to fill out surveys and send them back to the testing body.

And then there was another group that was asked to simply go about their commutes as they normally would. The result, as written by The Cut, which also commented on the study: "Of the three groups, those in the conversation condition reported the most positive train ride, and those in the solitude condition reported the most negative."

The abstract of the study concluded, "Connecting with others increases happiness."

So why don't more people try and talk with each other while they're aboard a train? That's what The Cut refers to as "pluralistic ignorance." Basically, you've got a bunch of folks sitting on a train who all assume that everyone doesn't want to talk to each other.

However, the sample size in the American Psychological Association's survey indicates that the opposite is true: There are indeed folks who would like to speak with one another. However, there are people who are just too afraid to strike up that conversation. Again, because they assume everyone else around them simply doesn't want to talk.

"Everyone is willing to talk but thinks everyone else is unwilling. That means there could be a train full of people who want to strike up a conversation, but it remains silent nonetheless," The Cut states.

Or maybe, it could just be that they're afraid they're going to say something that they regret, like Lizzy did in her video when she was just chilling in the park and, in the moment, said something to a stranger that got her cringing at herself.

But if she took the time to take a gander at the comments section, she'd ultimately feel better about herself. That's probably because it looked like there were a lot of TikTokers who responded that they, too, don't exactly put up big numbers in cool, calm, and collected replies to random people when they're out in public.

"Why do I always give way more information than necessary?" one person penned. Another replied, "Someone told me I had nice tattoos and I said, 'Thanks I have to moisturize them."

Another remarked: "Omg this is why I hate small talk this 10-second exchange would keep me up for a week at least. WHYYYYY."

How do you feel about small talk? Did seeing Lizzy's reply make you also want to facepalm? Or did you just nod your head in agreement because you know exactly what this feels like?