Should the Woman Have a Say in What Her Engagement Ring Looks Like? TikTok Seems to Think So

Asking someone to marry you should be a wonderful, joyous experience, but these days there are so many expectations that can make it stressful for the one doing the proposing.

For example, there is the expectation that a man should spend three months' salary on the engagement ring. That's cool and all, but in this economy, not everyone can afford to drop 25 percent of their yearly salary on a piece of jewelry.

There’s also the idea that men should pick out the ring and completely surprise their partner with it.

However, it appears that TikTok users don't really care about the element of surprise as much as they believe that the man should be pretty well informed about the size, shape, and color of the ring. One woman's video just started a conversation about how men tend to miss the mark when buying engagement rings.

In a TikTok video, creator @deespeaksoneverything argued that it's usually obvious when a man bought an engagement ring without any help. And from the tone of the video, you can tell that she didn't think this was a good thing.

"You can always tell when the man picks out the engagement ring. When he went to the jeweler with no guidance and just got what he thought was best," she says.

Unfortunately, @deespeaksoneverything didn't elaborate on why she thinks that. She teased: "I will not be explaining 'cause you will not be burning me at the stake today."

In the comment section, many folks agreed that men are often clueless as to what they're doing.

"My husband picked one with a beautiful stone..but it had a total of FOUR crosses on it. We’re both atheist," wrote one user.

Another claimed that they told their partner not to get a round-cut stone. So what ring did he get? A round cut stone.

A third user wrote: "Genuinely curious as to why an engagement ring would ever be purchased before knowing their partner’s ring preference. Even just a lil recon work."

Other women in the comments said they either picked out their ring or designed it themselves as they didn't want to leave it up to chance.

In a stitch to @deespeaksoneverything's video, user @chainstitches showed three images of silver engagement rings. While they were nice, you could tell she didn't like them and felt that men who opted for these kinds didn't seem to put any effort in.

A few folks agreed with her. One person wrote: "I want a moss agate ring and my boyfriend knows that from the million times I have said it." However, some users were thrown off by the type of ring the user wanted and began making jokes about it.

"If my ring doesn't look like a cursed artifact they don't know me well enough to marry me," teased one person.

Another quipped: "If mine doesn't look like it was carved out of a tree and gifted to me by a magical woodland creature then I don't want it."

Meanwhile, one woman disagreed with all this talk that men aren't good at picking out engagement rings." All of you complaining about an engagement ring are whack. What I like the most about it is that he picked it out for me," she wrote.

Another said: "All those rings are beautiful. It's about what it represents."