TikTok's "You're Not My Mom" Trend Showcases an ... Interesting Relationship Dynamic

Another day, another TikTok trend that proves Freud may have been right about a thing or two. Remember the toxic boy moms? Well TikTok's newest fad, the "You're Not My Mom" trend, isn't quite as horrifying, but it's definitely rubbing some social media users the wrong way. The trend sees women posting slideshows of themselves with their partners, showcasing an interesting relationship dynamic in which their boyfriends, fiancés, and husbands are infantilized.

But is this just a silly trend, or is it a new way to reenforce gender roles in heterosexual relationships, as some viewers seem to believe?

Let's get into it.

Women participating in this trend are making TikTok slideshows to show off all the ways that they act as mothers for their men. In the first slide, they'll show a photo of them with their partner, with text on the slide containing the quote, "You're not my mom." The implication is that their man is saying that to them in response to being told what to do.

However, in contrast, the following slides show additional quotes from the men that prove that they do, indeed, see them as a mother figure — from "Can you fold my clothes?" to "Can you pack my suitcase for me?"

In one iteration posted by user @notemmagia, she exposes her man for asking her what to wear, playing games in the car while she drives, and asking her permission to hang out with his friends. Another, made by user @aaliyahhazelwood, shows her partner asking her to pack his lunch, fold his clothes, clean his room, set his alarms, and more.

Can you see where we're going with this?

In the responses of these TikToks, many women are agreeing and finding humor in their situation: "If this isn’t the realest thing ever," one user wrote. Another said, "I fear we live the same life."

Even some singles in the comments are expressing their desire for a relationship like this. One person said, "I would gladly do all of that for the right person."

However, responses to this trend haven't been all positive — in fact, many women are saying that their experience with this dynamic caused their relationship to fall apart. In the comments of one video, a woman wrote, "I’m so done being mom to my husband [that] I met with a divorce attorney today."

Some women have been making their own TikToks in response, sharing their disgust at the trend.

Suzanne Lambert, a creator with over 30,000 followers on the platform, made a video talking about the trend to her followers: "This s--t is so bleak ... The fact that you think it's cute that you have a mother-son relationship significant other ... it's so gross."

In the comments of her video, many women were thankful that their partners don't make them feel like parents.

"We do everything together. Laundry, cooking, cleaning. If he's mowing the lawn, I'm trimming the edges. It's a good way to bond and we feel unstoppable together," one person said.