The Funniest And Most Ridiculous Receipt Notes Left Behind By Weirdos

By

Updated Nov. 18 2019, 2:38 p.m. ET

receipter

Most of us go to a restaurant or order in to eat and skip the clean up afterwards. We leave an appropriate tip, then go about our business. 

Article continues below advertisement

But in our society, there is a subset of people who make every interaction into an art form—like this person who told an epic tale of magic on their order for the delivery guy to chuckle over.

His special requests read:

Customer Request:
Crust a little crisper than normal. But not too crispy. If that’s not vague enough, make it like your’e taking revenge on a cheating boyfriend, BUT you still want to reconcile in the not-so-distant future.
Customer Request:
The gate is tricky, please don’t break it. And the spider on the porch is called Frank. Be nice to Frank, he guards the tomatoes.
Article continues below advertisement

I feel like I just read Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter in one go.

But that's not the only kind of funny receipt scattered around by clever weirdoes. There are all types.

The drunk ones:

"Lots of $$ for the party."

Article continues below advertisement

There's Mr. Butthole Teeth, who at least tips well:

Article continues below advertisement

There are the flirts. "Oh and by the way I'd fit perfectly on your face" reads this one. Side-eye much??

Article continues below advertisement

This extremely discount orgasm from a generous bartender:

Article continues below advertisement

Useful warnings: "Beware of the ninjas in the parking lot."

Article continues below advertisement

Strange ingredients:

Article continues below advertisement

Someone just being nice??

"Mom-to-be, good luck!"

Article continues below advertisement

The excuse makers, like this guy who obviously failed second grade because he can't subtract 17.50 from 20. Like, dude, there's nothing even in the units place!

Article continues below advertisement

Someone sharing some personal info.

Article continues below advertisement

A budding poet:

Article continues below advertisement

Pure artistry:

Article continues below advertisement

Don't type receipts while horny:

Article continues below advertisement

Though some receipts are just funny because they exist, and don't need a human to liven them up at all.

Advertisement
More from Distractify

Latest Trending News and Updates

    Opt-out of personalized ads

    © Copyright 2024 Engrost, Inc. Distractify is a registered trademark. All Rights Reserved. People may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Offers may be subject to change without notice.