A Fish Market Actually Put Googly Eyes on Their Fish to Make Them Look "Fresher"
Updated April 10 2019, 11:24 a.m. ET
When it comes to getting scammed, there are probably fewer things worse than getting scammed with food. When it comes to faulty consumer products that aren't edible — unless it's a battery that explodes in your face or a piece of machinery that your life depends on — you're just going to be out some money.
Like, if you ended up buying a prom dress online that looks like a potato sack in the mail, you're out a few dollars and suffer some disappointment. But if you end up buying food that isn't fresh and you eat it, well, that's an entirely different story because food poisoning is the absolute worst (source: I had food poisoning twice and JESUS).
You'd think that a business would have some scruples when it comes to selling food to people, but I guess that the dog-eat-dog world we live in means some businessfolks aren't afraid to cut corners and take shortcuts in the hopes of getting a leg up.
And although we've all been let down by food we've purchased before (here's looking at you, Wise brand chips), this Kuwaiti fish market is guilty of some of the most hilariously fishy food-deception practices I've seen in a long time.
They actually thought that they could fool customers into thinking that their fish is fresher than it really is by slapping some arts & crafts googly eyes on them.
Al Bayan newspaper reported that Kuwait's Ministry of Commerce closed down the fish market after local bloggers and customers reported the wacky practice.
I mean, they had to know that what they were doing was a joke... There's no way people were actually fooled by the plastic eyes. Even if they were at very first glance, they hopefully figured out there were friggin' plastic googly eyes on their cutting board the second they got home.
Believe it or not, this isn't the first instance of fishmongers in Kuwait trying to pull a fast one on their customers by adding non-fishy things to their fish.
This past July, another fish salesman was accused of filling up their finned goods with nails to increase their weight and charge their customers some more. Again, I'm not getting the logic here. It's not like you're selling these fish on the side of the road and are never going to see these people again.
At the very least, people found the story amusing, with some Twitter users coming up with adages that should be strictly adhered to, like "never judg[ing] the freshness of fish by the googliness of their eyes." He has a point.
Some applauded the Kuwaiti fishmonger's inventiveness and creativity. She might have a point, I still can't wrap my head around the fact that someone was actually trying to fool their customers and not simply have a laugh.
And if they were trying to fool their customers, just cut the fish's head off and serve the filets only. I guess I'll never understand what the person's motivations were, but it doesn't matter, because there are plenty of people out there who think they're "gill-ty" of consumer fraud.
My theory is that there's a rival fishmonger out there who wants to see this dude out of business. Because after the story went viral, this fishmonger's competitor crafted a campaign around the entire fiasco, proudly boasting that they sell "fish without cosmetic surgery." They totally had to be in on it. Totally.
Now although you've probably never come across a googly-eyed fish yourself (although it would almost be worth the laugh), there are plenty of other food lies that each of us has most likely endured at one time or another.
I mean who hasn't been burned by an ice cream bar that looks absolutely nothing like the packaging? The worst is when it's a character bar or the face of someone who is begging to be put out of their misery.
Or maybe it's just a question of overall quantity and proportions? I don't expect it to look exactly like the packaging, but at the very least make an effort, people.
It seems like no matter where you look, there are food lies just lurking everywhere. Waiting for you to spend your hard-earned dollars by tricking you out of them using nothing but skulduggery and bad intentions.
The more I look at these pictures, the more I realize that people would do anything it takes to make a buck, even if it means ruining your breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert.
As a human being, I'm appalled. But the prankster in me can't help but applaud the high-level trolling that's taking place here. It's really something special.
I mean, it's no googly eyes on fish, but they're up there. (h/t abc)