Do Not Read This Guy's Horrifying Ouija Board Story Before Going to Bed

I don't care what cultural background you come from, but there's most certainly a healthy fear of ouija boards and an understanding that you don't mess with them unless you want to invoke the ire of some evil spirits.

And at first glance, there shouldn’t be. I mean what’s so intimidating about a wooden or cardboard piece of paper with a bunch of letters on it? Besides, everyone know that someone else is supposed to move the little cursor over the letters, which is what makes it so “spooky.”

At least, that’s how it’s supposed to go, right?

Regardless of whether or not you believe in ouija boards, if you believe this guy’s horrifying experience with one, then you’re probably never going to mess with one again. Unless you’ve got a death wish.

Ever since I watched that movie The Skeleton Key, I am convinced that there is no scarier setting for any type of spooky story than New Orleans. Be it the history, or just the vibe of the place, there’s something undeniably terrifying about it.

It doesn’t help that it involves a mean-spirited aunt who treated child abuse like it was a game and was an overall horrible person to be around too. Oh, and she practices witchcraft, I forgot to mention that part.

If you want to talk about modern horror stories, Hurricane Katrina is one of them, no supernatural elements necessary, the entire events of the disaster and how it was handled afterwards, is terrifying. Sadly, there are tons of stories of suffering and terrible deaths that are akin to Marcus’.

This already has all the makings of a horror story — an old house in the middle of nowhere that belonged to a mean aunt who practiced witchcraft. In New Orleans. And she died a horrible death being stuck in a wheelchair. No thanks.

This is important to note because I didn’t catch this the first time, but Marcus and his cousin were around 13 years old when this happened. They’re children when they went through all of this. And that's a terrifying thought.

All right. So it’s an old house you tell yourself. Completely normal for something like that to happen. Sure the timing of it is a bit spooky, but the whole thing could be a coincidence that was just blown out of proportion.

Keep telling yourself that.

Marcus finally builds up the courage to run to the kitchen to grab his cell phone, and it’s at this moment that he understands the power going out wasn’t coincidental at all. I can only imagine how scared out of his mind he was at this exact moment.

We’ve all had a cousin like Marcus’, but they’re kids at the end of the day. Honestly, I’m a grown man and I think I’d be the one telling other people to leave an investigate something while I’m safe and sound underneath a bed. Also, beds are terrible places to hide; why are we fascinated with being under them at the first sight of home danger?

Now if you’ve ever watched any type of horror movie, then you know that that banging stopping was just the calm before the storm. Someone or something is trying to get into the house and has decided that the front door wasn't the way to do it.

What do you think was at the window? The police? A friend of theirs? Their uncle? Mary Poppins arriving to solve all of their problems?

Unfortunately no. They looked at the window and saw the last thing anyone would want to see in that situation.

It. Spoke. To. Them.

How would you react? What would you do? Honestly I’d probably have died of a heart attack at that exact moment, but they managed to pull themselves out of the bed and run away into another room.

This whole thing just seems exactly like a horror movie. He grabs a gun, but remember, he’s only 13 years old and hasn’t had any experiences using those things before. And honestly, if we’re dealing with a beyond-the-grave ouija demon here, it’s not going to do much of anything, if my experience watching horror films is any indication.

Of course the window doesn’t close. Of course this demon or whatever the heck it is is booking it straight for the house. Of course I’m peeing my pants at this point and hoping he blows this monster’s head off and that’s the end of it.

The gun doesn’t work because, of course it doesn’t. And in a rather sweet moment, Marcus and his cousin accept that whatever’s coming through that window is going to get inside and tear them to shreds. 

The fact that he’s able to joke about such a harrowing experience, in retrospect, is downright admirable. Leave it to some southern neighbor with a gun to be afraid of no ghosts. What a legend.

Again, if this isn’t the most horror-movie thing in the world. The cops, predictably, can’t find any evidence of the horror that transpired, but they did find something else.

Now if that’s true and I can see some police report about this, I’m just about done and have had it with this world.

Because remember, his aunt drowned in Katrina. Her ghost or spirit or whatever the heck was probably still carrying that flood water around with her.

You’d think someone’s aunt wouldn’t want to kill them, but she did go out in a gruesome way and maybe she tried preserving herself using some evil witchcraft before dying?

It’s hard to think that a member of your own family would want to kill you, but then again, it’s impossible to know what really happened that night. Even if it went down exactly as Marcus said, that still leaves so many questions.

Marcus seems grateful to tell his tale, and is even being encouraged by his professor to approach Netflix about producing it. 

Now my wife hates horror movies so I’m not watching it with her anytime soon, but I could see this as the kind of film to keep me up for many late nights, jumping at every sound.

People on the internet had their own theories as to what happened, but what do you think? Is Marcus just trying to get a sweet Netflix deal? Or did all of this insanity really happen?

Happy Halloween.