Police Department Arrests Elsa for Cold Weather, Won't Let It Go
Updated Jan. 30 2019, 10:26 a.m. ET
These Illinois cops have had enough of Elsa's shenanigans.
Disney created a monster when they dropped Frozen for the first time and changed the lives of children all over the world. Featuring a Disney princess who looks for every excuse to not play with her red-headed sister because she's got awesome ice powers, the movie's actually pretty lame save for the fact that it's got one of the greatest showtunes of all time.
The personal savagery and rallying against circumstance while Elsa displays, "THIS IS ME, NOW DEAL WITH IT, WORLD" is, to borrow a word from the kids on Tumblr, iconic.
But that comes at a price: kids all over the world will incessantly bombard you with requests to play "Let It Go" the second they've dipped into the Anna and Elsa well, and it's enough to make you hate the frosty-haired queen.
So much so, you start blaming her for other things in your life. Someone wearing a shimmering blue top that looks surprisingly like Elsa's cuts you off? You blame her. Water too cold in the shower? Elsa had something to do with it. Someone you're dating mentions they like Idina Menzel? It's over.
And now, these police officers have done what any person who's had it up to here with Frozen has done — they've made Elsa an enemy for life and arrested her for the ridiculously cold weather that's swept across the Midwest.
The McLean Police Department then uploaded two hilarious photos of them booking Elsa for her crimes against the weather. It looks like they used special pink handcuffs that suppressed her ice-wielding skills — otherwise those cops would be looking like T-1000 at the end of Terminator 2.
Looks like the only frozen fractals she'll be dealing with are her remaining shards of sanity after having to kill inmate after inmate with her icy powers as they try to get revenge for "Let it Go."
Or maybe she'll be out for good behavior. She could be a good friend to have. Can of seltzer too warm? Just ask Elsa to hold it for a bit. Have a wart on your foot? Elsa can touch it and you can kiss that unsightly blemish bye-bye.
While Elsa's arrest may have been a joke, unfortunately, the cold weather throughout the Midwestern states is not. A 55-year-old man in Milwaukee man was recently discovered "dead and frozen" in his detached garage. He went outside to shovel some snow, decked out to combat the elements, but it wasn't enough — he collapsed and froze to death.
The cold front is so bad, many businesses and schools closed operations due to the "polar vortex."While the name might sound cool, the repercussions are not.
USPS service has been completely suspended in parts of Minnesota, Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin, Ohio, Western Pennsylvania, North and South Dakota, and Nebraska.
All of this just makes Elsa's arrest that much more of a big deal. She's crossing state lines with her icy crimes, so it looks like she'll be spending time in a federal prison if found guilty. Enjoy your kingdom of isolation in solitary confinement.