'Honest' Juice Commercial Destroys Liquid Fasts And Food Detox Programs

I love juice, the more expensive and cold-pressed, the better. Throw a bunch of stuff in it, Kale, Ginger, Tumeric, wheat grass, pineapples, cauliflower, I don't care. I'll slam it back and only feel slightly guilty when I realized I just dropped $11 on something I guzzled down in about a minute.

And I'm sure that a lot of my love for juices, especially ones that tastes like I just licked a freshly-mowed lawn. But I also realize that the claims of juice cleanses "purifying" your body of toxins is completely false.

Sorry juice brigade people. There's no scientific evidence that proves juice cleanses will all of a sudden rid your body of impurities. Will you lose some weight? Probably, but that's only because you're rocking a mostly liquid diet and will more than likely be consuming fewer calories.

The folks over at Cracked.com made this hilarious video about the bogus health effects of juice cleanses. It's an "honest" advertisement that might make juice cleanse devotees a little upset.

"I'm sure you've heard about us, we've placed sponsored ads all over your social media feeds, and pay celebrities to post pictures of themselves enjoying our product."

If you're still convinced that "detoxes" work, here's why you're wrong.

No human being needs to detox unless they've been actually poisoned by something - we've got our liver and our kidneys to do that. Ranit Mishori of Georgetown University Medical Center has spent a good amount of his career researching the "science" behind juice cleanses, and isn't convinced they work.

The idea of juice cleansing was conjured up in the 1940s by Stanley Burroughs, who encouraged people to drink lemon water with cayenne pepper flavored with maple syrup and taking a laxative before bed. Sounds healthy.

Also, when you juice fruits and vegetables, you're taking away the best part of the produce: it's fiber. It's those fibers that help you feel full. Juices are also very, very high in sugar, so replacing all of your diet with sugars, getting rid of fiber, and having almost zero protein is a recipe for disaster. You might lose weight, but you're losing muscle mass, so the number on the scale might ultimately be lower, but you're not going to look better, and will probably feel a lot worse after prolonged periods of time.

Plus, going on any trend or extreme diet isn't really a recipe for sustained success. There's a reason why more than half of the patients at a New York eating-disorder clinic have admitted to trying juice cleanses, it's because that kind of diet promotes the harmful "all or nothing" eating trend that's so difficult to maintain.

So you can enjoy your cold-pressed juices, but don't think that drinking juice and nothing but juice will do anything for your health except, you know, destroy it. Just ask Steve Jobs how his all-fruit diet worked out for him.